Originally Posted By: Ivo
At the end we grew up in the shadow of this illness and our parents tried their best to somehow shield us from it, but despite all these efforts we are all marked and wounded somehow.

I am not sure would I be able to deal much better if I would be on fatherís place and send backward in time.

I agree completely and really don't want to judge our parents, they did best they could. I just need some recognition to be accepted as equal person to them/"adults". I've recently realized that I was put aside as small kid and that is my biggest scar from childhood. Intention was good, they wonted to protect us but I was at same time hurt and felt like I'm left alone. Never mind I'll think much more before I'm gonna talk to dad, that will happen in some future. I've had already some talks with him and our relationship has improved last couple of years although I'm not yet satisfied with his understandings of us kids. There were situations (recently) when he almost expected that I must be in emotional way completely devoted to him, that was a little bit too much for me and I've needed to put some boundary and to distance myself. He didn't understand at all what happened, again I was felt like he is child and I some old man. But that will be theme for talk to you also sometimes in future...

My story