Sure you do, man. it's your reality, but still... Are you medicated? I don't take a lot of pills, but I've been medicating with alcohol for years... IDK, for me it just works. ;-)
The fact that you disassociate is worth looking into. I will tell you one thing that I know for sure;
"...The only thing that could possibly be worse than being kidnapped, tortured, raped and murdered, is to be kidnapped, tortured, raped and IGNORED..."
because there are so many others to blame. Why SHOULDN"T we hate our fellow citizens until proven wrong? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on ME!
I don't want to trigger you, ever. So don't even ask. ;-)
IMHO, worth exactly what you pay for it!
IMHO - Ricky
P.S. Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one and most of them stink.