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#385041 - 02/09/12 03:29 PM Re: Gotta say it *** TRIGGER? *** [Re: lapchinj]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2888
Amen, Jeff (lapchinj). You nailed it. Perfectly.


#385042 - 02/09/12 03:30 PM Re: Gotta say it *** TRIGGER? *** [Re: Chase Eric]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3825
Posted elsewhere and then saw this thread

How Fragile Life Is

Sadly yesterday we learned of the loss of someone who has endured the pain, loss of self and devastation of sexual abuse as a child. He had a wonderful woman there to support him, eyesforward. She was there to help him heal but sometimes the destruction done by others is so great, the mind and soul cannot heal. He lived each day to his best as does all survivors of CSA. Now eyesforward will have to move forward in life without the love of her life, but as a strong supporter she will be able to take solace in everything she has done and should not ask what else she could have done. There was nothing else for her to do--his pain and loss of self was too great. The perpetrator should learn of the devastation he caused not only to his victim but those around him. Sadly, I do not believe the perpetrator of abuse knows or understands remorse.

CSA survivors have a special need to relearn how to live in this world, a world full of love and hatred at the same time, a world full of compassion and ignorance, a world that lives with the truth and a world that lives in denial of the injustices and hurt inflicted on others, nurturers and destroyers, people with compassion and those who lack compassion. I hope the positive attributes significantly outweigh the negative. We have unfortunately seen how the ignorant and those that inflict pain on others has robbed a human of his life and forever impacted the lives of those around him.

I am sad to see a fellow survivor lost, he fought a valiant battle. We all face this battle each day--some are very fortunate to have the support like eyesforward gave and others are faced with the demons of the past which have them escaping from life and others are subject to continued torment, taunts, physical and verbal abuse and pain at the hands of others--who continue to destroy life and try to stop the victim from healing. But together we can support each other and heal.

The loss had made me realize the importance of public advocacy for the victims and awareness of the pervasiveness of CSA and SA in this country. It seems not a day goes by that we do not hear of some form of CSA or SA. We hear little about help for the victims, most who are left to deal with the shame and guilt on their own. This stifles their life, prevents them from knowing love and trusting others and sadly many fall victim to vices that destroy their lives and others find themselves in abusive situations once again. Help needs to be provided to the victims as soon as possible after the attacks. There should be no shame, families and friends should stand behind the victim and not cover it up and the public needs to understand the long term effects of the abuse on the victim.

I am not sure how to push forward but would be interested in ideas and ways to bring public awareness before anyone else is lost.

#385043 - 02/09/12 03:47 PM Re: Gotta say it *** TRIGGER? *** [Re: KMCINVA]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I've not been able to cry like this in a long time, but it genuinely sucks. Your post says it all so very eloquently, and I thank you for it.

I don't think its a decision for me --- made by me. But this event is turning into energetic and renewing fuel for me...for my battles upon social change and social attitude.

For the moment, I'm crushed by this news, but at the same time, I'm able to get aggressive again with my war.

Number one on my list has always been "dissuading the myths" from the public grasp. The myths are what keep SO many of us from getting help, from disclosing, from collapsing at the feet of a parent, a cop, a minister...anyone who would help a badly injured child. Dissuade the myths - fix a lot of problems!

I've never called this MS population to action, because its really not appropriate. MS is a place to heal and discover. But I hope that the outside public who read this and will make some noise.

#385047 - 02/09/12 04:24 PM Re: Gotta say it *** TRIGGER? *** [Re: traveler]
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: traveler
...I feel it deeply for her and all her loved one's family and friends....


I feel for her and her family as well. I feel for all of us.

The pain of "feeling" what happened to us is very real. I as well as probably most of us have had devasting thoughts.

I am will you all in healing and recovery. I sign my name with the word "peace" before my name for this very reason.


aka DJsport

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