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#385129 - 02/10/12 03:48 AM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: pat8]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1739
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Pat

Sorry for the pain, and sorry for your son too.

You have already won most of the challenge. You believed him, you love him, he trusts you.

What can you do
Love him, believe him, trust him, hug him, love him, love him, love him. Become a little overprotective and ...... Love him.

I did not get the love I felt I needed at home so I went in search of attention and, well found the wrong type.

You also now need to be really open and honest about sex, when the questions come up. Don't force it down his throat, but rather when he enquires. Problem is that he has had sexual experience beyond his years so this will confuse him.
Watch him to ensure that he does not display prematurely advanced sexual behaviour. Watch that he does not rub himself excessively or himself on others excessively. And be loving and firm when you tell him that this is not how things are done.

And one more thing, hug him and love him.

Heal well
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#385193 - 02/10/12 05:33 PM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: Avery46]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
pat,
.
I love the advice you have gotten. Jim has given great advice about having family events such as lessons. Physical lessons are great. Musical lessons are great as well.

I had an overprotective mother - (note: she needed to keep a lid on my emotions or I would have told, lol) - and one way to NOT be overprotected is in your language or the way you speak to you son. As a great mom, you might already be doing this. Ask him questions instead of tell him how he feels. Ask him about his day. Don't send him to his room as a punishment. Use positive words and never negative words.

I apologize if I have stepped on your toes as you might already do these wonderful things.

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#385208 - 02/10/12 07:51 PM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: Avery46]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3959
Loc: settling in the USA again
What whome said:

YES<YES<YES!!!!!!

ALL of the above

Lee

_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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