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#384349 - 02/05/12 12:21 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: FormerTexan]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
hmmmm.... I'd like to be in a band but don't wanna travel and def don't wanna have groupies!!! laugh

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#384350 - 02/05/12 12:27 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: Disappointed]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Disappointed
What IS it about men, that they always want to be in a band?!?!?!!!!

Playing in music groups has been a great source of healing for me. In addition to getting me out to be with others (I would probably have been a confirmed hermit), it contributes to health in some special ways.

It causes parts of the mind to work together. Playing music with others has the following good effects on the brain: The mind has to read music and listen and play with the group. It also has to feel the music, it makes all these brain functions work together. In other words, it is one of the best possible treatments for dissociation.


#384352 - 02/05/12 12:32 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: pufferfish]
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
I want to be in a band. The male (or female) camaraderie is excellent!! The music massages the brain in ways beyond our comprehension.

Excellent post Disappointed!!!


aka DJsport

#386233 - 02/18/12 08:08 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: Avery46]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5971
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
While it would be impossible for me to be in a band, I have often wanted to be a lead singer in a band. No, I will never karaoke, the music really needs to follow the singer, not vice versa. Still, the thought of thousands.., ok, even a dozen attendees singing along with me on a piece I wrote would be powerful.

I have never enjoyed the "going to see a band", too much sensory input. I haven't enjoyed the bar scene either, but I was a bartender, and was able to be the center of attention at a bar. It was very addicting, no pun intended. Everyone talked to me, flirted and co-hooted with me, trying to get their friends to by them drinks, or get them to try something new. I was even bought a few rounds, and that made me feel very "connected". I feel very differently about the bar scene now, being able to go to a bar, have a few drinks and enjoy myself.

Anyway, I guess that if I could carry a tune in a truck, or a could "grind an axe", or "tickle the ivories", I would like to be in a band as it may help me to get a different perspective on that "scene". As I am not even qualified to punch the ticket at the door, I do not see any part of the band fantasy coming to fruition anytime soon.

Rock on boys, and may the crowd cheer you back out for another curtain call, Sam

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#391254 - 03/29/12 02:17 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: SamV]
ShortedDiode Offline

Registered: 11/26/11
Posts: 121
Loc: Hamilton, ON Canada
I've never really wanted to be in a band but not learning how to play a musical instrument is something I've always regretted. I'd love to be able to sit down in a quiet place with an instrument and play music for the simple enjoyment of it.

The public school system here had mandatory art, music, and gym classes and they'd teach you how to play an instrument of your choice out of the school's inventory but because of the learning disability diagnosis early on, I got pulled out from all of those classes to sit in the learning centre instead and stare at multiplication tables and other things like that for hours on end. I thought this was going to change after I finished grade 6 and entered middle school, and I actually did get one music class and one art class right at the beginning of the school year but I got this phone call at home a couple of days in where some lady told me that my timetable was being changed to accommodate learning centre by removing art and music completely and half of the gym classes to free up the time so back to more of the same of sitting in the learning centre grinding through repetitive busy work. Oh, and the gym teacher almost flunked me because of 'bad attendance' missing half of his classes even though it was the school administration that scheduled me to not be there half the time. Getting that mess fixed was a very stressful nuisance because if his original grade had gone through, my parents would've killed me for failing a class.

I've done some technical work for a couple of bands on a couple of occasions since then, just stuff like trying to help one guy learn the basics of recording on analog tape and helping one or two other bands out improving their PA systems' sound output. The other thing I did was pick up a 49 key MIDI controller keyboard and a teach yourself to play the piano book a couple of years ago at a sale. It was less expensive than buying a full blown synthesizer or a real piano since it gets hooked up to the computer and Garage Band does the heavy lifting to produce sound from its sample library but I haven't been able to put the time in to get anywhere with it, really... frown
If it's a choice between laughing or crying, I'd rather laugh.

#391470 - 03/30/12 03:13 AM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: FormerTexan]
rrush Offline

Registered: 03/23/12
Posts: 11
wait I thought you were all in a band... so your telling me that You all are not in a band.... Really smile

#458315 - 01/09/14 12:12 PM Re: Men & Bands! [Re: Disappointed]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
playing in bands kept me from giving up.
i started performing at age 8 in 1969.
my first band, called "the teddy bears".
brad, russell, and i were a guitar trio.
we did instrumental covers of ccr, the animals, johnny cash, the ventures, the shadows, and one original song.
music was my purpose in life, until my children arrived at age 35.
i was living the dream, but i woke up.
i stopped performing professionally about 8 years ago.
strictly production now.
i don't miss it.
honestly. not one little bit.
the touring is what eventually ended it for me.
i did not want to die on the road, with family at home,
and every tour was filled with close calls and near disasters.
i think i started to plan my exit strategy soon after my near death experience in an italian hospital.

i did one more album and a half dozen more tours after that before i finally took my first break since 1991. it was 2005 i think.
that break feels so good, i am still breaking.
i am not even that person anymore.

the question is
Originally Posted By: Disappointed
What IS it about men, that they always want to be in a band?!?!?!!!!


Me, a girl who doesn't get it!

the answer for me was.
it was the perfect lifestyle for me at the time.
sex, drugs, and music.
wine, women, and song.
ego, pleasure, adventure, self indulgence, attention, discipline, freedom to act out, synergy, vanity.
being a professional performer gave me a sense of identity and worth, without having to behave in a socially acceptable manner.
i was able to get away with things no ordinary person could say or do.
eccentricity was excused, accepted and even expected.
especially in the subculture i was immersed in.
rejection was just another form of recognition.
it was us against the world... just the way i liked it.
it allowed me to indulge in my own delusions of grandeur.
i never once had to comply to anyone, unless they had a weapon.
any commitment i made was entirely voluntary.
i was completely self sufficient, answered to nobody,
and considered my poverty as luxury.
i had everything i needed,
and i got whatever i wanted.
i hardly ever had to pay for anything,
almost everything was provided for free.

before i became a full time professional,
my reason for playing in bands was the hope that i would some day become professional.
it kept me from going berzerk while stuck working at jobs i did not enjoy.


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