well, guys, i wish jls would come back to his post. lol.
so, just to be clear: i could be very wrong, but i am reading his question in a different way.
i think (assume) we here all do understand and recognize the caveats and pitfalls of being in a relationship to be "saved" and or "doing it to escape" and or being in a relationship with "someone who has unresolved issues himself."
what if jls has met a great guy or girl, which is why he is asking, and that person's kindness, tenderness, (eventual love?) intelligence, understanding of sexual abuse issues -- is exactly what helps him?
i mean, not everyone is a pessimist is he??? being sarcastic.
there are good and strong people out there, right? i am not convinced that any one here would be worse off for having been in a relationship with that sort of honest, gentle, healthy, all-together person.