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#382792 - 01/19/12 02:42 AM Anybody work around kids?
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1556
Loc: New Jersey
I'm currently applying for another job at another hospital. They have a massive pediatrics department (on the floor just below the pharmacy I'll be working in) and a pediatric emergency room. Just wondering if being around all these kids (and sick kids as well) will be a problem aka very triggering. I do currently work in a hospital but our demographics are older. Their version of a pediatric floor are patients that are not yet eligible for social security LOL I'm actually writing this from the currently closed pediatric floor. Most of our under 18 patients are patients of our psychiatric emergency room (mostly 11-15 year old) alot of them are probably abuse victims most likely (physical, sexual or otherwise). Sad actually very sad. I also work overnight snow which keeps me isolated from the patients as well.

So anybody have any ideas/advice?

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#382795 - 01/19/12 04:18 AM Re: Anybody work around kids? [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3959
Loc: settling in the USA again
Yeah - I'm a teacher - but at a high school - so may be a little different - and the kids here are mostly pretty healthy and happy on the surface - so few triggers for me. It would be a lot different in a hospital with all the sufferiing and different histories. there have been a few troubled ones that crossed my path - kids who were suicidal or into cutting or extreme acting out or drugs or other risky stuff. The few times I have worked with them closely enuf to trigger, I also had the chance to intervene and make sure they got help - sometimes I was involved in the follow up - sometimes not. but my urge to do something positive to help them was stronger than the tendency to retreat into my own pain and it turned out OK - both better for them and for me. So it could be a positive thing for you in the long run.

I'd advise you to find a safe way of being around some kids and see how you handle it. Got any friends with children that you can visit with the parents present - or a place you could volunteer as a helper to an experienced adult helper on a one-time basis - or something like that? Maybe the hospital even has some kind of visiting program - go in and read to them or something.

Follow your gut in the end - but don't count yourself out before you've given yourself a chance to succeed.

Regards,
Lee

_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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#382801 - 01/19/12 09:08 AM Re: Anybody work around kids? [Re: traveler]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
A lot of survivors can confuse caring with sexuality. Many survivors have a problem separating out sex from intimacy (sharing/caring for another person, being open and vulnerable, trusting, etc.) You can be sexual with another person but not be intimate, or you can have an intimate relationship with another but not be sexual (such as a relative, friend, counselor, etc.). Often, the goal of a successful relationship blends sex with intimacy.

I've worked with survivors who identify with the youth under their care, whether as teachers or coaches or health care workers. Sometimes the survivor feels like a child is a smaller version of himself, or feels sympathetic to a particular child who is struggling with being the "runt of the litter", or has a physical/emotional/social handicap which moves the survivor from sympathy to sexualizing the child.

Sometimes, people have unrecognized agendas that tie into a need for protection of vulnerable children. Maybe that's why they choose professions that enable them to take care of vulnerable children as a way of changing the>
_________________________
Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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#382815 - 01/19/12 12:04 PM Re: Anybody work around kids? [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
I second Ken's post about needing to have healthy skills around intimacy to heal the unhealthy damaged intimacy/sexuality many of us suffered.

Being non sexually intimate with self, friends, other men, and my relationships is the daily ground of recovery. If I do not know how to get those emotional needs met in healthy ways, I will unconsciously seek out ways that are indirect, unsustainable, damaging, and that trigger old feelings of hopelessness and being stuck or broken/unfixable.

Support groups, mentors, T, 12 step groups, etc. are all places I've learned to practice and become better at intimacy over the years. Perhaps the best training I've been thought is that of ManKind Project (www.mkp.org)- they have weekend trainings that help me unblock the stuff that stands in my way of healthy living.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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