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#382488 - 01/16/12 01:00 AM Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 437
Loc: west coast
This is a follow up to the thread orginally posted by ever-fixed mark.

Sometimes the symmetry of things is really remarkable.

We talked about prayer in our MaleSurvivor group the other night. It was about the fact that prayer can bring a group together and make someone who is the subject of the prayer feel seen and honored, whether that person believes in god or not. It is about INTENT. Mahatma Gandhi said he prayed not in the western style of the passive "please god, change (whatever it is I want to change)" but instead “prayed not for a change of circumstances but for a change in attitude towards them". When I told my story and came out this week to my very religious college best friend I had not seen in years, he just said simply. Wow, that must have been very tough – but you must feel at peace now. He appreciated that I shared so much with him.

I found this link, via the pinknews in england reporting on the "prayer for Michael’s demise” {referring to singer george michael’s recent illness}. He has chosen a satanic lifestyle and must meet an appropriate end."

The splinter group that posted that call to prayer also had this to say about homosexuals, gulp:

The circle is complete because the blogger quotes the Exodus group in his take on homosexuality and then goes on further. "Homosexuality is a sickness and instead of telling those afflicted with this condition that they were "born this way", we need to get back to basics and criminalize it. Only then will we start making headway with HIV/AIDS.", One of the solutions to AIDS would be to ban sex outside marriage and homosexuality ( prisons for the positive) and stop making AIDS medication to discourage "unnatural" behavior. To me its sort of like saying banning donuts would make cops skinny.

But as a survivor, it’s about acceptance of where we are now despite what happened to us and living the best life possible. The negative self talk we already possess is not helped by people like this blaming the person who is gay for being gay. Not sure anyone is born this way or not but one thing is for sure, almost no one would choose to be the object of this kind of derision and ridicule willingly.

Then the coolest thing also in the news this week, is a catholic priest in Australia has called for the end of the so called "gay panic" defense where the law currently allows that if a man feels another man makes an unwanted sexual advance, that homicide is justified. There have now been more than 10,000 signatures in support of the abolition of the existing law.

Some have said this shows intent to end laws similar to the abolition of slavery. Others argue that race is genetic and not the same as a homosexual "lifestyle". Yes engaging in a homosexuality is a choice but so is heterosexual sex, yet no one questions whether heterosexuality is a choice? Hilary Clinton I think says it best:
She stated worldwide “opinions are still evolving” on homosexuality as they did with slavery, and “what was once justified as sanctioned by God is now properly reviled as an unconscionable violation of human rights.” “In each of these cases, we came to learn that no [religious] practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us,” she said.

The great American author John Steinbeck had this to say “I remember at time when they had no souls. It was easier then. Now it’s confusing. Once you have classified them as not the same as you, your feelings are safe. ”. He wrote this in 1960 referring to the black emancipation issues in the south. There is no difference in how many today see “the gays”. Black southern Americans sure as hell were not looking for special treatment, just equal footing- no more.

So again the pendulum swings and the POPE says this week that gay marriage is a THREAT TO THE FUTURE OF HUMANITY ITSELF.
He puts forth that gay marriage is somehow very heavily weighted compared to other things around like, idk, war, poverty, religious conflicts, basic needs of life, etc.

The pope told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper "settings" and that "pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman." So what about childless couples, are they an affront as well? Hmm no mention, huh? I am just trying to follow the line of reasoning cuz he gives no biblical references.

The Roman Catholic Church, which has some 1.3 billion members worldwide, teaches that while homosexual tendencies are not sinful, homosexual acts are, and that children should grow up in a traditional family with a mother and a father.

My buddy from Boston that I met at the WoR in Barrie is a dad now. He and his partner who is black were able to adopt an 8 year old little black boy whose father had abandoned him and his crack addicted mother. When at the dentist, the little 8 year old was playing with another boy. The other boy asked if my friend was his father “yup and I have a chocolate one at home too!” the boy enthused. How is this less of a family? A loving supported child growing up in a nurturing caring home. Is he really better off where he was with the dead beat dad and the soon to be dead mom?

"The family unit is fundamental for the educational process and for the development both of individuals and states; hence there is a need for policies which promote the family and aid social cohesion and dialogue," Benedict told the diplomats.

This is the Top Ten reasons gay marriage is wrong:

I read in a thread here on MS, someone said that if something is not your thing or you don’t believe it, just ignore it. If you want to drive by a church without stopping – don’t. I get that when the voices, actions and intentions emanating would not affect me. But that is not the case here. These words and deeds and indeed intents, directly affect many of us and they cannot be ignored. Silence in response to things like this never leads to anything other than the status quo. Rosa Parks was just tired, maybe that’s true with a lot of us. We are not moving to the back of the humanity bus.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
Dalai Lama

A survivor wants to know( and you don’t have to be a gay or straight one or one that’s not sure or doesn’t even have need for labels)? Where is the intent towards kindness?

The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

#382490 - 01/16/12 01:20 AM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: 1lifenow]
J1 Offline

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 138
Loc: Missouri
I suppose my own personal worship is more like a daily devotion and meditation...I have been in almost every flavor of worship as an observor, or in my capacity for various jobs. I have heard rabbi's that were as brilliant and engaging as any tv preacher. I have been in Muslim Temples as the only white man, and felt the pure energy and focus of great men. I have seen truck stop ministers, motorcycle gang Jesus evangelicals...On one job we infiltrated a KKK meeting in an Illinois cornfield....they were no doubt enjoying the garb and rituals and fire that the Pope would be impressed with.

I have done LSD on a Florida beach and been surrounded by born again teenagers
sent out to convert the heathens...I laugh now, as they had no clue I was a homo, on acid, and after hugging the hot guys and fat chicks, I convinced all of them to urinate in the ocean together, as part of their path to enlightenment. I think I used the term, salvation thru urination....I was always dumbstruck that anyone at all would listen to my rants on a beach..but you can be surprised and empowered by the follower genes, of most people.

We might respect and decide what a specific religion means to each of us... on a flexible basis, I would hope. Things do change. But the community of the church attendees, is very powerful and has huge benefits for all.

The dogma and practices are sacred, and much like I find certain Voodoo or Santeria rituals, cruel or illegal, it is not for me to decide for others. Oh..and my God, does not require cash or check weekly ,or for me to sit in a pew , at ten am on God knows I lead my daily life in a proactive, sharing, earth centric manner. That works for me....and her..

#382576 - 01/17/12 09:40 AM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: J1]
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 437
Loc: west coast
Aids an invention?! and other really cool stuff, you know


The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

#382607 - 01/17/12 06:25 PM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: 1lifenow]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2962
Wonderful discussion! You have argued the point with logic, clarity and eloquence.

Choice indeed - for those who claim it was a choice, I would ask them when they decided to be straight.


#382667 - 01/18/12 05:39 AM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: Chase Eric]
NewSummer Offline

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
I always say "When did you decide to have blue eyes?"...

life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon

#383353 - 01/24/12 06:39 PM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: 1lifenow]
devon0 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/07/00
Posts: 45
Loc: TX, USA
Well stated. Thanks

A life worth living.

#384017 - 02/01/12 08:58 AM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: devon0]
mike13 Offline

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
The world needs to remember that we are all in this together. When we allow one to suffer we all suffer Mike

#384304 - 02/04/12 03:27 PM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: 1lifenow]
Older1 Offline

Registered: 12/20/11
Posts: 129
Thank you "1lifenow" for posting.

#387018 - 02/24/12 07:29 AM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: Older1]
lapchinj Offline

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1485
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing

Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 01:29 AM)
Stick around, It will get better....🌹🌹🌹

#390080 - 03/21/12 08:35 PM Re: Ex gay update - Prayers and Intentions [Re: lapchinj]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 01/01/11
Posts: 1598
Loc: California
The most important thing I've learned about sexuality is self acceptance.

I'm at a point in my recovery where I accept whatever my sexual expression is (whether it is imposed by CSA, or distorted, or my own true authentic self). Because of my sexual orientation, I've learned that it has given me the gift of recovery and insight and compassion and self acceptance.

It started with acceptance.


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