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#379678 - 12/16/11 07:14 AM Have You Found Purpose?
Clockwise Offline

Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 304
Loc: Pennsylvania
First, I want to say how much I value the advice I get from all of you guys. I so appreciate the wisdom you give me. I know I ask a lot of these big, sweeping questions but you have no idea of the immense confusion that takes place inside of my brain everyday.

So, with that said, I want to know, have you found purpose in life? Have you found something or someone to live for? I struggle with this greatly. Its the reason I'm up right now at 2 in the morning. Why bother going to sleep if there's nothing and no one to wake up for? I have a job but I'll be honest and say that the more I'm there the more I want to not be. I'm becoming more and more despondent and the mental disconnect is definitely starting to show. I walk around with this far away look in my eye. I look through people rather than at them like I should. My voice quiets to a whisper and frankly, I just don't fucking care anymore.

I can't stand being this age (22) and being this lost. My last T told me that at my age it's ok to not know what you want to do with your life. I'm not so sure. When I was a teen I wanted to badly to be an adult. Not for the access to alcohol or anything like that, simply because I couldn't stand the confusion that came with being a teenager. I always though grown-ups had their shit together. They knew what they wanted and they went out an did it and didn't ask anybodys permission. Now that I'm an adult I find myself still trapped in that teenage fog. Now I wish I could go back in time and at least prepare myself for the future instead of just riding it out. Maybe then I would have some type of direction.

I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know where to go or how to get there. I have no purpose and that scares me to death. I don't know if I could live in this world without knowing what I was truely ment to do. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt myself, I'm just being blunt.

So, purpose, have you found it? Any advice?


Yet another 24 hours.

#379688 - 12/16/11 11:09 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: Clockwise]
Dar Offline

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
Terrick, At 52 I still dont know what I want to be or what I want to do with the rest of my life.
That is totally normal to think that way. Most people that start out in this world think they know what they want, but most of the time we end up going in a differant direction. Some good and some bad directions, but some people really get to do what they love for the rest of their lives.
I, by no means ended up doing what I wanted to do. All in all, it ended up pretty good compared to others. Life is a journey and it will take you on differant roads. Do we always take the right road? Hell no we dont!But you have to make the best of it until a real opportunity that you want comes along.
I do know one thing that I am finding out about myself now at the ripe young age of 52.
And that is helping other people get through problems in their life that I have been through or going through. The pay sucks but the gradification of helping another person out like me, is worth more than money. But that is me right now and next month it might be something else. Who knows?
So what makes you happy right now? Fishing, golfing,gamming,reading, ?????
What I am trying to say is, how do we know we are preparing ourself for the future, WE DONT most of the time. If we could all go back in time and change things none of us would be here right now trying to heal the past.
I dont know of many younger people that are doing what they wanted to do or even know what they want to do. So dont feel alone or confused by this. It is pretty much what every person does when they are starting out in life.

Best of luck and God Bless

All I ever wanted was a hug.

#379691 - 12/16/11 11:49 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: Dar]
VirtualBman Offline

Registered: 01/20/11
Posts: 21
Loc: Dayton, OH

"How can I be lost, when I have no where to go." Unforgiven III, great song from Metallica. It explains for me what you are going through. What most of us are going through. Right now your purpose is to be you, to find the inner you and to finally love YOU. With healing comes clarity, with clarity you will find direction and that will lead you to purpose.

I was so in your situation until I was 31 or 32. I then met the woman I never thought I'd meet, got married and had children. My purpose I truly believe now is to guide, love, educate and protect these beautiful children of mine through their journey to adulthood. I have the strength and resolve to make this my mission, to right my wrongs and to break the cycle. This shit stops with me. I (we) none of us had a choice when being abused, but I'll be damned if it ever happens to another child. That is my purpose.

Thanks for sharing your feelings and I hope this helps a bit. Take care my Brother, you are not alone in this.

We will hold your hand.

#379715 - 12/16/11 04:06 PM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: VirtualBman]
Dewey Offline

Registered: 11/13/02
Posts: 140
Loc: the sunshine state
I was going to PM you out of privacy for myself but decided that this is too important a topic. I'm guessing many, many people are dealing with this uncertainty right now. Those of us knowingly on this healing journey have the benefit and or cumbersome weight of realizing that we face opposition to our desire to really soar and thrive, especially in our work. What I meant to say is, lots of folks are uncertain of the future. Vocation is very fulfilling {or should be}. We as survivors have an advantage and disadvantage of being aware that things are not perfect. In ourselves and in the world. Right now many are redefining what matters most. Family, career, security, these and more have been vastly changed for folks within the last couple years. As we accept the fact that change happens, and it's ok, we can better face today. The bugger can be identifying our value, core worthiness or worthwhileness, if you will. We've been slammed hard into a couple brick walls and it's taken a minute or two to get back up. Thankfully, hopefully, there have been some comforting handholds in the process. Like this website. If this is all there is and this pain that we've endured is for naught, what a shame. I have to believe that it all matters. What we experience, our brokenness, our response, our struggle, our desire to help, our giving, our graciousness in receiving, all of this and things like it, it all matters immensely. But if it's up to us alone to figure this all out, it's simply too overwhelming. So the thought and belief that we matter is in itself a huge handhold that helps point us in the direction specifically designed for us. Or something like that.

I refuse to use my past as an excuse to not have a future.
My hero Dad; Trigger warning-

#379754 - 12/17/11 01:01 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: Dewey]
Incognito Offline

Registered: 04/18/11
Posts: 105
Iím not sure if this is what you are looking for but this is how I perceived your question:

About 7-years-ago, I was at a funeral and sat in the pew as it was conducted. The funeral was long and they passed around a microphone to anyone who wanted to share a story about the deceased. As each person shared their story, I thought about what I would want people to say at my funeral. I began to think if I died the next day, what would they say? Would they say I was a good person? Was I a bad person? How many people would be able to stand up and say they really knew me? I sat in the pew and made a mental list of what I wanted people to say. When my time is up, if my friends can come forward and say that I was always there for them when they needed someone; I was a good source of laughter; I never brought negativity into their life; I was someone that could be trusted; and I was someone who made a positive impact in their life. If they could say any of those things then I had done my job as a friend.

On the other side, for myself, I have a list of things I want to accomplish before I die. This list right now is comprised of over 30-things and so far I have accomplished about a third of them. Each year, I pick one or two to check off and complete. If something goes on the list, then it must be done. It cannot be erased. If I put it on there, then at one time or another it was important to me so I must go through with it.

If I am lying on my deathbed knowing that I accomplished everything I wanted to do in life and enhanced those lives around me, then I can smile and know that I lived life kicking as much ass as possible and no one could ever take that away from me.

"If you're willing to carry the weight, feel the strain, push past the pain, and give more of yourself than others expect of you, the world is yours." - Dave Tate

#379794 - 12/17/11 06:06 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: Incognito]
mickeyg1375 Offline

Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 49
Loc: Texas, USA
I went through that same thing in my mid to late 20s. I felt like my job was dead end, I was tired of making money for selfish bastards, and so was my marriage. I had lost all of my enthusiasm for life. Someone asked me what I did for fun, and I answered "I sit around and smoke dope all day". Not long after that, I was divorced from my wife (which was a blessing in disguise because she had worse issues than I did), then suffered a breakdown. I felt like I was dying. Just to make it through a day was a mountainous task. I lived only for what became my nightly self medication. I began to drink myself into a stupor every evening.
I went through some soul searching after a while, and decided that I needed a new direction. I eventually found the joy of charity. Giving of my time, talent, and when I could afford it, a little treasure. I found that I enjoy helping others. It helps me to get outside of myself and worry about others for a while. I haven't had the pleasure of working a soup kitchen yet, but I hope to soon.
This also allowed me to get new ideas, and to begin to believe that I could accomplish much more. Now, I own a small business, I haven't drank for 2 years. My second marriage is 11 years old and we're still together. I don't want to rule the world, but I have found harmony with it in many ways.
The reason I am here is because I finally have the confidence to confront these issues, plus maybe I can help somebody while I am here.

#379805 - 12/17/11 07:16 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: Clockwise]
phoenix321 Offline

Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Truth = Honesty
Love = Compassion
Courage = Valor
Truth + Love = Justice
Truth + Courage = Honor
Love + Courage = Sacrifice
Truth + Love + Courage = Spirituality
The absence of Truth, Love, and Courage is Pride, the opposite of which is Humility.

It just might be that simple. Peace.


A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

#379892 - 12/18/11 02:58 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: mickeyg1375]
creyes99 Offline

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 66
Loc: Indio, CA
Originally Posted By: mickeyg1375

then suffered a breakdown. I felt like I was dying. Just to make it through a day was a mountainous task.

i'm right about here mike. you give me a very small glimmer of hope. its better than nothing. thank you.

#379896 - 12/18/11 03:23 AM Re: Have You Found Purpose? [Re: creyes99]
AdamJae Offline

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 42
Loc: Oklahoma
Terrick.. I'm 26 and have been exactly where you are right now. As a matter of fact up until very recently I felt lost with no purpose. But then I remembered that when I was younger I wanted to be a teacher.. so I enrolled for my instructors degree (I'm a cosmetologist) and on my first day of class I felt so happy and accomplished. like I found where I was supposed to be. But like I said that was just recently. I spent many years asking myself what my purpose was. The truth is, you need to find something fulfilling to do with your life, and your purpose may reveal itself to you in due time.. the fact that you are so young and thinking about these things is very admirable! Just be patient and try to live each day to the fullest. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens but it will strip today of its joy (borrowed from another ms member) your time will come! Till then good luck buddy!



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