Do not be so tough on yourself. I once learned that when a person judges himself he always judges too harshly. Seldom do others judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. I do not believe you are a terrible son. I believe you are a human son just like I. Who did the best he could given what he had to work with. Believe in yourself Scot. Because if you do not who will? I believe your higher power wants you to believe in yourself my friend. Sincerely,