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#377135 - 11/28/11 02:33 PM Syracuse scandal
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
The Syracuse scandal has my head spinning. First the coach's - Bernie Fine - alleged behavior was abusive and he took it out on an innocent child(ren). Then his wife was "watching" and felt it ok to have an affair with the kid when he turned 18 - yuck.

I was sexually abused by my mom's male friend. Did she know?
My mom thought it ok to "sleep" with me as a child for her own comfort. It is my own abuse that is making my head spin.

What are others thoughts?


aka DJsport

#377146 - 11/28/11 03:42 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Avery46]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1575
Loc: California

You touched on something that's been bothering me for a while, ever since I realized that my mom had an emotionally inappropriate relationship with me as a child.

I'm starting to think it was her poor boundaries she exhibited with me that set me up for molestation by my older cousin. My mom didn't model healthy boundaries for me, all while emotionally / psychologically neglecting me. I needed affection and love and attention, which she hardly gave.

Had she had good boundaries with me, I doubt I would have had an sexual relationship with my cousin as a child.


#377191 - 11/28/11 08:08 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Magellan]
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
My stomach is all upset and my head is spinning a little awhile ago - literally. Going to lay down.


aka DJsport

#377194 - 11/28/11 08:20 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Avery46]
Sailor John Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 310
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Why the hell do they do it. First Penn State and now Syracuse and the perp's wife. The whole bunch of them should be strung up by the testicles until they either rot away or they die. The mother should be hung upside down. Sorry, but that's how I feel.

I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.


#377230 - 11/28/11 11:59 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Sailor John]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I cannot even look at my Syracuse class ring.

I encountered a college-age kid wearing a Penn State Wrestling shirt at the gas station. I stood in stunned amazement.

#377232 - 11/29/11 12:19 AM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Still]
NewSummer Offline

Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
You are right when you said "I needed affection and love and attention"...I still do. Makes my heart ache when I think about how cold I felt as a child, until my cousin came to town..

life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon

#377245 - 11/29/11 02:40 AM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: NewSummer]
lapchinj Offline

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1456
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing

Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 11:54 PM)
Stick around, It will get better....

#377319 - 11/29/11 03:45 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: lapchinj]
Sobernow Offline

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
this stuff has me a frozen state.
kinda like driving by a horrible car accident with bodies laying out. you don't want to look -- but you can't resist.

thats how i feel about SportsCenter on ESPN these days. I can't stand the sports stuff --- but you have to grant them this --- they were instrumental in exposing this sick mess.

Edited by Sobernow (11/29/11 03:46 PM)

#377321 - 11/29/11 04:41 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Sobernow]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3138
it is so sad, so much of this everywhere. Syracuse coach and the wife, Penn State-I guess there will be more to come. It seems boundaries mean nothing to these people. However, when boundaries are crossed they can hurt and even destroy. It happens everywhere, as Magellen said it happened in his home, a mother with no strong sense of boundaries and an emotionally inappropriate relationship. So it seems we need a strong community to watch out for the child.


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