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#376857 - 11/26/11 02:09 PM So, I didn't edit myself.
Esposa Offline

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 811
Loc: NJ
Just a little background - my husband is one of four children. His relationship with anyone is his family has obviously not been traditional and they really are a difficult group of people. I have always tried to build a relationship with them, thinking that's what you do when you marry in, right? Of course, while I did that, I didn't know about the abuse. Now I do. And now I know what they did.

On Wednesday, on Facebook, I had posted some quote about the strength of love. My lovely sister-in-law, with whom I have no interaction, commented that maybe I should learn something about self-respect instead and not take back a cheater.

CAN YOU IMAGINE??? First of all, it is public. Second of all, she hasn't been there for us at any time during this process. And third, SHE IS TALKING ABOUT HER OWN BROTHER!!!!

So, I wrote her an email. And I asked my husband for permission to send it - and guess what, he said OK!! I could not believe it. I have 17 years of pent up fury at these people and he let me send the email!!

Here goes:
What I have done in the last year has taken an incredible amount of strength and commitment, something perhaps you know nothing about. I have stood by a person who has completely fallen apart - primarily because of the abuse that he endured while people like your mother were supposed to have been protecting him and caring for him. He comes from a family of heartless opportunists who have only their own selfish interests at heart. And instead of abandoning him (which would have been the easiest thing to do), I decided to instead give him something NONE OF YOU EVER HAVE - and that is unconditional love and respect and support.

So go ahead and judge me. Your opinion of me matters not at all

#376862 - 11/26/11 04:02 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: Esposa]
Fissy Tsickens Offline

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
BRAVO!! Good for you (and your husband)! How dare she judge.



Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

#376864 - 11/26/11 04:11 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
You go girl.

Surround yourself only with those that give you encouragement, love and Praise.


Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#376868 - 11/26/11 04:39 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: whome]
Esposa Offline

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 811
Loc: NJ
I'm keeping John and Martin wink

#376889 - 11/26/11 09:21 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: Esposa]
lucylives Offline

Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 367
Awesome, now unfriend the ignorant cow! Last thing we spouses need is to b judged at least whn I judge myself pretty harshly.

#376890 - 11/26/11 09:32 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: lucylives]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3790
My hats off to you--go with those that support you, help you and do not judge you. They have not walked in your shoes and faced what you have with courage and dignity.

#376895 - 11/26/11 11:01 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: KMCINVA]
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
I am proud of you. I know how hard it is to do what we are doing, and then have his sister be unsupportive and judgmental. it's actually no wonder my husband was molested and it went unnoticed. His sisters are the most self preserving, emotionally inept women i Have ever met.

Comments such as hers shows that she has absolutely no clue what you and your husband are going through. It's way easier to be ignorant of what's going on than to share you and your husbands pain.


#376903 - 11/26/11 11:33 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: Gretta]
GoodHope Offline

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 428

Wife of a survivor

#376968 - 11/27/11 02:44 PM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: GoodHope]
hopeandtry Offline

Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 476
Good for you. You handled this better than I have some interactions on FB. I had someone post something very nasty on my wall, too, and it amazes me what people will write on there. Gross. You did the right thing and acted with dignity. Kudos to you for standing by your husband.

#377061 - 11/28/11 02:29 AM Re: So, I didn't edit myself. [Re: Esposa]
Sailor John Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 310
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Bravo Zulu - Navy speak for a job better than well done.

I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.


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