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#376238 - 11/20/11 10:39 PM all over the map...
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 1894
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
I am still afraid to ask women out. I would like it if i can
hang out with more guys. I am still intimidated by women.
My penis never grew. He,he,haha i heard them laugh.
My dad is mentally not right . He wanted me to be a girl.
His whole famliy..acted this way.
Nobody wanted me to be a boy....so i felt i couldnt be a boy.
It never grew! I was so afraid . I wanted to get help.
I never wanted to abuse anyone.
I have to figure out these computers. I wrote a letter, but
then ansering the phone i must have hit a button and all was
erased. It is sooooooo difficult to start writing your thoughts
and feelings from the beginning.

My dad left me there. They would do everything to me.
Taking me away from feeling like a guy.
And so like i said i ask women out....it is gettting better..
So that is good. But i have to make sure i dont flirt with men
b/c i dont want to be with men. It is important to get this
out. ( Man, this sounds alot worse than what i originally
wrote). I am sorry to the guys who perfer men ..i hope i didnt
offend you in all my writing on here. It cant be easy for
you(s) either.
I just wanted to be a nice guy. Like all of us i guess.
I put out dozens of fliers a couple years back to meet guys
" Social Group for Men"... but i dont think i was too polite
then and my speech was very fast and well i only got to
hang out with a couple guys then.
But i did make them feel uncomfortable.
I guess i had this dream that i could bring people together.
Oh well. I have to take care of myself.
Oh yeah i was going to say what got me thinking of writing
was i allow the thought get into my head of curiosity of
men having sex. And so i started watching but i stopped
after a while.
I just hate it! (Sorry to the guys who enjoy that though,
i guess it cant be easy for you guys)

I dont want to trigger anyone , but how do you stop?
See i wasnt allowed to even think.. as a ... i keep going
inside my body and feel. It isnt pleasant...BUT my therapist
supports me and guides me.
I wish i can get a hug.
There are times i can allow tears come up when i am in public.
But i havent sobbed yet..and this is bugging me.
I dont want to hurt anyone...how does one stop thinking about
the sex,? ,,, am i weak?
I dont want to look at it. I have a body dysphormic
disorder..something like that.

Take care guys.

G


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#376277 - 11/21/11 05:47 AM Re: all over the map... [Re: Sterling]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi G

First thing:
Try and take some pressure off yourself and, dont look at dating woman as anything different than taking a person out for coffee. There are the usual signs like prolonged eye contact, and that is license for you to walk up and say, Hi I'm G, I see you are alone here, can I buy you a coffee. If the answer is no, say sorry, thank you, and walk away. No harm no Foul. Dont see it as a failure but rather a victory, with each person you ask, you conquer another fear. Its a win win situation.

As for Penis size. The local hype has vastly overrated penis size, and most men see their penis as smaller than what it actually is. It is not the size that counts, it is kindes and consideration and compassion and respect that win the girls hearts.

To stop thinking about sex all the time, find other interests that you can use to replace the sex thoughts. read a book, go for a walk, learn to play an instrument, go to a movie, or write a poem. Use anything you can to distract yourself

Heal well
Martin

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