Don't confuse empathy with crying or showing emotions. For example, I have been extremely triggered. I was very distracted for a couple of days. I went back into coping strategies, self-talk, focus breathing, imagery, calling my sponsor when I really felt like taking a drink. My wife pointed out how distracted I was and expressed concern. I realized I needed to pray the Serenity Prayer. There is very little I can actually do for that situation. I then limited my reading on the subject. I do follow the story but consciously step away after an article or two. It is not for lack of empathy because my heart breaks with sorrow when I hear the mother of Victim 1 tell what her son is going through. If there is some way for me to help, I will be more than happy but that is truly unlikely.
I went to a lot of work to deal with all the issues head on and put them back in pandora's box. Allowing these demons to escape their box can be harmful even fatal. So if your husband chooses to back away from certain levels of reaction, please allow him to do so because he is likely trying to keep himself safe.
Edited by catfish86 (11/17/11 03:29 AM)
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.