To all of you who have posted here:
Every one of you, myself included, have difficulty with intimacy in any form.
Think for a minute. We all came to this Lair of the Wolves (I really like thinking of ourselves as a Strong Group because we SURVIVE) as strangers to each other. We are openly welcomed by those who have been here before us.
At first we are reserved, shy,in pain,and scaredBut we watch, we read, we hesitate and finally we open up ourselves to everyone here.
Now intimacy involves letting down your guard and sharing. As I said above sharing lifes experiences. I suspect that if we search within ourselves we have to admit we have been intimate here. We have been drawn by a common purpose, granted. And yet isn't that the same for any of life's situations, whether it be seeking a partner for life or a good friend. Now the ultimate form of intimacy between partners and friends is the desire to share with each other the love that we feel. It may be the love of cameraderie as with a friend or the love of a partner.
With a friend You share a part of the only thing you own; your body. And that part is your brain. It is what makes you unique. It contains your emotions, beliefs(real or imagined) and your humanity. Sharing that part of you with someone is huge. AND WE HAVE ALL DONE IT HERE
With a partner you share the part of what you own that is talked about above and in addition the rest of your body. It becomes a co-mingling of our very essences. And it is based upon trust, mutual respect, and a willingness on our and their part to do this. I am not a very religious person despite the religious connotation of my last name but I feel it is the merging of two souls for the better of both.
Now all you brother wolves dig deep and you will find that you have shared your brain here willingly and for the benefit of yourself and everyone here. SEE THAT IS CAMERADERIE.
I suspect that the reason we have difficulty elsewhere is to in a large part to body language and our self image. As someone posted we are terrified to let someone view our soul through our eyes. Or we are repulsed by a friendly gesture like an arm around the shoulder or a hug or a slap on the back for that matter. These are all natural events but we have a different slant on it because of our past.
I am sorry if this is so long but I need to say it all.
It is so important here that we continue to share and care and hug spiritually and slap on the back figuratively the sucesses and hold and weep together on the bumps of the road we are travelling.
We have found something here that cannot but help us in our struggle to discover intimacy in our daily lives.
Now some of us are lucky and have caring and loving partners and we should be thankful for that because we are not created to be alone. Some of us also have good friends for the same reason.
Now I ask you. Are they not willing to share care hold slap on the back and use every other form of intimate behaviour depending on their relationship with you.
We are learning it here on an emotional level and they can guide us on a practical level. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LET THEM.
Yes we have our family here but we also need the other so lets just do it. It is scary I know but dammit we owe it to ourselves and those who love us in their own way to give work our asses off on this.
This post has been very dificult to write and was prompted by all of you who have posted here and those of you who are part of this lair.
There is one of us here, though, who has actually displayed a real willingness and desire to share lifes intimate experiences with me and has caused me to do the same with him. It has helped me more than he can know and for that I thank him and am forever grateful fot the experience. He knows who he is and that is sufficient for me.
I REALLY BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD THANK THOSE THAT SUPPORT US AND SHARE WITH US LIFE AND ALL IT CAN BE. SO TO THE REST OF THE PACK A GREAT BIG THANKYOU.