I'm not going to comment on the subject of the safety and feeling safe issues as I just don't feel I have enough knowledge in that area. But in terms of encouraging him to come out in here and post and read... I'll try to give the little bit of insight I have myself personally. Take this for what it's worth, I just hope it helps a little bit.
Granted I'm a fairly recent joiner to the boards here. But speaking as an ASA... my little sis would bring up posts from time to time here and call me over to read... or she would print something out and tape it to my desktop monitor for me to find when I got home from work. Sometimes she had taken a highlighter or a pen and highlighted sections or underlined them in big thick underlines, or circled sections.. to draw my attention to things.
She bought books as well, and would stick them in my truck, or on top of my toolbox, or in my toolbox, with bookmarks or held open to the particular pages and passages she wanted me to read... she got very inventive about getting me to read things. I still can't actually speak about this verbally - even with my therapist - but we figured out after a while that I could handle reading about it. I have a lot of PTSD, a few phobic responses, flashbacks, anxiety, still struggle with all of that, still struggle with the fear and in order to feel 'safe', I still almost have my world under an iron lockdown in many ways.
She printed out bits of things from multiple different sites, and if I didn't seem receptive to being handed it directly, she would always fall back on the slap it to my monitor with tape method.. I guess it was her way of shoving my nose in it as close as she could get to the literal definition of the phrase.
Start out gently, I guess. Some of us are thickheaded at times (I know I am!), and sis had to get a little sneaky to bait me into coming out in here. (She can be as stubborn as her jarhead brother when she has to be - and sometimes that's a good thing.)
But don't expect him to just jump in right away. The two of us were reading here as unregistered anonymous guests for a month or so before sis made the login... and it was a couple days after that, that she dug her heels into the sand and almost twisted my arm to get me to write something. In my case I sometimes need a good arm-twist or a swift boot in the tailquarters, but I highly doubt that's the case for every male. She also had been doing the books and website-printouts and whatnot for about three months before finding this site here. It was a very gradual process for me.
Bear in mind as well, I don't have any CSA in my background, just ASA from about two years ago. So I don't know if that will affect how he may or may not respond to the thought of writing here. But for me it was a gradual reel-in, it took a little while, so don't expect him to just jump up and post in a night. But keep at it tactfully, I guess.
I think I'm rambling, so I'm going to stop. I guess what I'm trying to say is try to encourage him, but don't outright try to force him, or he may recoil all that harder... but if he CAN be convinced to come in, it might help. Again, no CSA for me, just ASA... but just the short time I've been here reading and writing a little bit has helped already.
Hope this helps.
Edited by TheTwoOfUs (11/14/11 09:22 AM)
Adapt. Overcome. Survive.