Wish l had a solution for the night terrors. I have the same, and for as long as l can remember l don't have dreams.
But l do have feelings when l sleep. I remember my brothers and sisters waking with a nightmare and getting into our parents bed. Not me, l had bad feelings that woke me up. This was way before the assault.
I remember telling my Dad what they felt like and the look on his face told me he couldn't make them better. l was on my own. So l trained myself to go with the energy.
So like tonight, l woke with terror about two hours ago. I am so accustomed to the feelings so l just get up ...smoke a few cigs and enjoy the solitude.
Its the memories that now flood my mind after l get a grip that make it very uncomfortable.
Lately l have been reading about how my body chemistry was affected during the assault and the immediate, shortterm and longterm effects that occured.
I felt the intense body chemicals in my body during the assault. l felt the changes in my mind after about five years l thought l was going crazy but never associated the amped up or flatline energy levels to the sexual assault trauma.
A few months ago l started to read about how trauma and the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PSNS) are affected by trauma.
I believe that when my body responded to the extreme fear during the violent abduction the SNS was so amped up it was damaged. I believe my SNS is over-reactive.
The end result is PTSD. So when l feel fear now my body chemicals go into overdrive. When l feel pressured mentally l over-respond.
When l sleep, l think my body chemicals aren't used to being in a totally relaxed state, my body wants to stay in the 'fight or flight' mode...hyper and on guard.
Who knows, but sleep meds made me have visual dreams and l couldn't discern dream and reality for awhile there.
So now l try to stimulate the PSNS when this happens. That means tuning in on relaxing and 'feeding' my pleasure receptors...l visually look at something pleasing...internet photo sites...l really like slow motion clips sync'ed to music...try: The slow mo guys, they're on youtube.
I strung some colored lights in my room so it looked nice...l soak my feet in hot soapy water some evenings and remove as much tension as possible with body/mind relaxing.
I read articals on passive accupressure...we do it unconscously...like when l rub my forhead in stress or anguish. My forehead and eyebrows, l gentally apply pressure...like slight pinches on the spot between my eyes on the nose bridge, or breathing and massaging my stomach...if its really bad nothing seems to work. I have even tried the Lamaze Breathing exersize the women who do natural childbirth learn.
I wonder if a flexoril, muscle relaxer, might help prevent the night terror since l don't relax when l sleep. My teeth are very worn/fractured from grinding and my jaw feels like l bite down all night.
Anyway, l hope this will help.
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"