When I was 3 1/2, I was left with a husband and wife the night my brother was born. I was supposed to be left with another family but they weren't home. Wonder what would've happened had they had been home. Who knows.
I slept in their waterbed with them. I remember staring blankly at the television in their bedroom the next day. They made me perform oral sex on both of them. My mouth wasn't big enough for him since I had a suffocating dream about it when I was 27. I was in therapy for Bipolar and Anxiety after a suicide. With her, I performed oral sex on her somehow and remember her being very juicy. She came on me since my whole face was wet. That was also in a dream. Other people that were molested in our therapy group knew I was somehow. They purposely didn't tell me till it came out with intensive one-on-one counseling. I really hated group after that since I know who was molested too.
I was shocked really but it explained a lot of things. I have no problems with nudity. Sex to me is just an orgasm. I like others to orgasm and it'll remind me of the woman abuser afterwards sometimes. If the woman gets off, I don't have to mostly. Masturbation still is a constant. It feels good and is just an orgasm really like I already said. I'm sex obsessed but only they matter in the equation. Them getting off a lot is the thrill. I can tell in any porn video I've watched if the woman enjoys it at all (most do the stars have told me). Past girlfriends still call and email just to spend a weekend. They are not abusers but in retrospect, feeling used is a high. Sick I know. Just don't have triggers like many do. But, no deep relationships either. I really don't believe I care about them. Don't really know to be honest.
Drugs were fine with me. Abusing pre>
Edited by ModTeam (10/09/11 06:05 AM)
Edit Reason: Trigger warning added.
A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"