Hi Guys, i feel i am comfortable enough here for the child in me to cry out (i hope so ) .
I am 8 years old when it is decided that i will spend weekends and school holidays with my uncle (my dads' brother ) who is 2 years older than i am as my grandmother had passed away and i would be company for him ,My grandfather would collect me from my home and i would then spend weekends etc: at my grandfathers house,during the day my uncle and i would play more like brothers and everything was great ,in the evenings things were very different (**TRIGGERS) .At night time i would be in bed by 8.00pm and i had to share the double bed with my grandfather,My grandfather would come to bed the door would be shut and the lights turned off,it was then when my grandfather would remove my pyjamas my hands were held down to stop me from resisting i am now naked and my grandfathers hands are all over my small body ,he takes hold of my penis and proceeds to masturbate me whilst asking me do you like that?,my grandfather then turns me over and rapes me as i lie there crying inside ,after raping me he performs oral sex on me ,the abuse continued even on a holiday when he took my older sister me and my uncle on, we stayed in a motel where i had to share the double bed with him even with my sister and uncle only a short distance away sleeping he proceeded to penetrate me from behind.As the time went on he was no longer satisfied with just abusing me he made me perform oral sex on him and even as i struggled to resist my head would be held down until he climaxed .My abuse ended as i turned 11 and my family moved overseas when i returned at 19 my grandfather never mentioned what he had done to me or offered an apology (not that it would have excused him from what he did to me).My grandfather has now passed away and i felt that the memories would end but i am now left with the mental scars as the child in me cries at night and questions WHY ? ,WHY? didn't i tell,WHY didn't i refuse to go with him ?.I am now in therapy and with the support from my friends here i hope to take steps to overcome and recover from my CSA ,Cheers Andrew.
LOOK AT ME NOW I AM A SURVIVOR !My inner child and I are now doing this together !