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#371631 - 10/04/11 01:04 PM Lack Of Support *Triggers*
Marinan Offline

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
I have a loving and very supportive family. I've told both my mother and grandmother I love them and that's true. They constantly tell me they love me and praise me. There's a problem though.

They still deny, to this day, ever since I've started recovery, that I've been raped/sexually abused. It's so aggravating that my two best defense mechanisms and supporters are not really there enough for me.

#371641 - 10/04/11 03:25 PM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: Marinan]
hopeandtry Offline

Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 476
I'm sorry to hear this. :-( My mother was in denial about some of my problems in college (not sexual stuff) and even that was really hard to deal with.

#371646 - 10/04/11 05:04 PM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: hopeandtry]
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
That's hard and I am sorry. I know how important it was to my husband that his mom and sisters believed him, All but 1 believed him. The one that doesn't believe him well I know it hurts my husband. She loves him very much and but she can't bring herself to believe her father was that horrible of a person, but he was. I also think she isn't mentally or emotionally strong enough to handle it. She might come around and maybe your Mom and Grandmother will too. I hope you can work through this.

#371647 - 10/04/11 05:13 PM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: Gretta]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3717
It is difficult when the victim is not believed or discredited by a love one. It is sometimes hard for those around to accept. I live with a family that has been less than supportive and continue to lash out that it did not happen nor abused people don't self abuse, dissociate,etc. It does hurt and can trigger the emotional trauma. I sympathize with Marinan and understand that support is needed and not to be believed by a loved one is shattering. I have the triggers also but I try to stay focus but not always successful. I hope in time you can accept that some people are unable to accept what they know is true. You are the one that is healing, do not let the mindset of a few hold you back.

#371870 - 10/07/11 01:26 AM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: KMCINVA]
ozland Offline

Registered: 07/11/11
Posts: 29
Loc: Australia
I relate to this situation of they don't believe me ..thanks everyone your comments help.....

#371960 - 10/08/11 03:34 PM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: Marinan]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1739
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Marinan

Just remember that they to have fears, and although they "Know" what happened to you, they might deny it to themselves, because it makes them feel better. It could also be that they see your rape as their failure, and denial helps them to cope.

The most important thing here is that you don't let their attitudes impact on your healing. Don't use their denial as a tool to use and abuse again. It is really important that you take the positive from them eg. the fact that they do love you, and use this to enable your healing

Don't give up.

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#371966 - 10/08/11 06:04 PM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: whome]
Czaesar72 Offline

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
I agree with Whome 100% .

A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

#373276 - 10/25/11 01:47 AM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: Czaesar72]
Marinan Offline

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
This situation is still the same.:(

#373278 - 10/25/11 02:28 AM Re: Lack Of Support *Triggers* [Re: Marinan]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Sometimes the mom is the last to know.



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