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#370722 - 09/22/11 05:39 AM Re: I can't believe I am here [Re: Gretta]
katie1205 Offline

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
I know this will be an unpopular response but my fear is that he acts out and that you have children. When I reported Adam to a court mandated reporter though the statute of limitations had expired, there is a case record on him. And people with no boundaries, have that, no boundaries, so that is my concern. Your children. While some of men on here have acted out, you will find most have not. They have just lived in their own personal hells. It is the ones that act out that concern me. Also, I am with Robbie on this one. You do not need or want in your subconscious everything that happened to him. I went to Adam's initial therapy just to establish how I found out and my concerns. After that, I did not go unless the therapist requested it because really it was in my case enough just to the basics to send me to the doctor to pop valium for several weeks. The family started wanting to talk about it and I was like NO. He has one brother who went to college to become a librarian (sp) and has a permanently revoked real estate license who I have spoke of before who is a partical jerk (sp) and as the oldest brother felt it was his place to tell me everything and how I should deal with it and though I am half his size, I literally got in his face (mind you he is also 21 years older) and said IN HIS FACE "LOOK LIBRARIAN BOY WITH THE REVOKED REAL ESTATE LICENSE, WHEN YOU GET YOUR MFCC SPECIALIZING IN SEXUAL ABUSE GIVE ME A CALL. UNTIL THEN, SHUT THE HELL UP!!! WE HAVE A THERAPIST!!" and I walked out of his house. Really seriously, think of your children and let the professionals take care of what the professionals need to take care of. Really truly and I say this thinking of you, there are things you do not need to have the images of stuck in your mind that the therapist needs to help him process.

#370749 - 09/22/11 12:56 PM Re: I can't believe I am here [Re: Melz]
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
Dear Melz

Wow there is more truth to that then you know! I am so depressed right now knowing everything that was done to him, the fact that his childhood was robbed from him. I am hoping he can get a support group and maybe share with them but I am his best friend and safe place. I don't want that to change. It's taken his little boy a long time to trust me.

I think he wants a break from this too and if I am constantly depressed, sad and crying the poor guy doesn't get a break. He's only recently shared some horrific memories so I am still processing.

Thanks for taking the time to explain.

#370760 - 09/22/11 03:42 PM Re: I can't believe I am here [Re: katie1205]
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
My husband has given me full access to his therapist and he and I have spoken and he does not feel that my children are in danger. My instinct was they were safe...just nice to have it confirmed. My husbands acting out was drinking, porn and prostitutes. He is working so hard to be healthy I can't tell you how proud I am of him. I know it's a long road and can't say I signed up for this but he didn't either. His father signed us up.

My husband is very lucky to have some incredible people who love him and are looking after him. He is very close to his pastor who has some experience with his and that is also helping him get through. I am feeling slightly optimistic today and I haven't felt that is some time.

#370762 - 09/22/11 03:54 PM Re: I can't believe I am here [Re: Gretta]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3786
He is lucky to have you by his side.

#370802 - 09/23/11 07:01 AM Re: I can't believe I am here [Re: Gretta]
Pie Offline

Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 61
Hi Gretta

Its only with support that we get through this. We all have good and bad days.

On good days, enjoy and relax, take time to just love him.

On bad days, don't take it personaly, and take time to do something special for yourself.


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