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#370201 - 09/15/11 11:29 PM Hello
GonnaWin Offline

Registered: 09/15/11
Posts: 1
I am a male survivor who was molested by my father. Things have been moving along somewhat nicely for the past 5 years since confronting him and getting help. But....a few weeks back I was besieged with new memories (and a voice to describe them - something I've never had). And everything has gone a bit haywire. I am on a drinking bender right now (day 4) and very very alone/unstable/afraid. Just want to connect and say hello. Thank you.

#370209 - 09/16/11 12:54 AM Re: Hello [Re: GonnaWin]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Been there done that. Had that done to me and reacted the same way. Sorry that you had to suffer that as well. I have had a wide range of emotions and reactions over this and have struggled a lot in the past. You are definately not alone. It was certainly not your fault.


#370214 - 09/16/11 01:42 AM Re: Hello [Re: Freedom49]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5971
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
Welcome GW,

While we have successfully broken through and processed countless memories, triggers and overwhelming emotions, they will keep coming until they are gone. So be it, fellow survivor, for we will be there as well, present, ready, aware, affirming, validating and resolving our past.

We will not be there all the time, sometimes the memories win, but it is a temporary win, for we will achieve victory. Well done GonnaWin , for you have recovered the abuse to this extent, and now the deep recovery begins. Remember the joy of completing recovery as much as you were able to in the past, and know this reward is coming again, very soon.

We are here with you, we feel in our hearts your pain, fear and loneliness, and we are here to steady you again. Begin when you are ready, sit deep and breathe, relax until you can keep recovering again, you are among friends.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#370241 - 09/16/11 05:43 AM Re: Hello [Re: GonnaWin]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1739
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey GW

Sorry that you are going through this. It sucks and the memories need to be dealt with. As a grauduate of the AA myself, please be carefull. The bottle has never resolved any problems, in fact for me the bottle made it worse. Sorry to try and spoil your binge, but one needs to be of sober mind to deal with ones problems.
Try and put the memories into a box and label them. Think about what they are trying to tell you, look at what they make you feel. Most of all remind yourself that they are just memories, and all though disturbing, they CANNOT HARM YOU.
The mind only lets you remember things as it feels you are capable of dealing with them.
Problem is that this caught you from left field, as you said you were doing well.
I trust that you will make this through this, and look forward to talking about happier things.

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#370266 - 09/16/11 01:53 PM Re: Hello [Re: whome]
Castle Offline

Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
I have heard your voice, and so sorry for your pain.

You're gonna "win".



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