Welcome! I don't think you sound stupid at all, but I know what you are saying about it being your comfort zone. I always felt that way. Felt like I could never do anything right. I've learned that isn't true, and I have a hunch if you stick around with us and with your therapist, you may discover the same thing.
Every person is valuable and has so much good stuff to contribute to society. That includes you and me, My Friend.
Stick around and get comfortable here, K?
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson