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#368569 - 08/21/11 09:46 AM IDO NOT KNOW HWERE TO PUT THIS

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 983
On Aug 28th 2010 my wife of 15Years pased away .And I also lost my Grandson a week lator on Oct 4th 2010. I was raped on Laborday of 1977 while at Fort Hood TX . I wonder how buch more I can take .This is the first year without them . Laborday is hard enough , I feel like my heart is being torn from my cheast . I just hope that I survive this I Some times think that I cannot cry any more . and then I start again
I have a new wife that does under stand my pain . Because her husband died a little over 2 years ago



"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

#368573 - 08/21/11 12:05 PM Re: IDO NOT KNOW HWERE TO PUT THIS [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Darkheart Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
You put it in the right spot bro...

My rape happened on thanksgiving day...I know exactly what you're going through...

I don't know what it would going through it alone...wanna talk about your grandson and grandma? Will it help to celebrate their lives?

I'm here for you bro...


My Story...

#368610 - 08/21/11 09:02 PM Re: IDO NOT KNOW HWERE TO PUT THIS [Re: Darkheart]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Okie Mike,
Anniversaries like the day of disclosure used to mess with me or May 13th, I would go redline on those days for three years, plus a couple others.
I have always regarded this journey for survivorship as a daily battle since disclosure on July 6th 2007, my 49th birthday. I can lose or l can win and losing in this fight can be very costly mentally, emotionally and physically.
Depression enters quickley and can take root, grow and shadow all that has enlightened my life.
I hope this doesen't read like l'm all right, far from it but getting closure, understanding, peace, comfort and a final conclusion is very important to me. It's up to me to create it.
Seems like every path or gateway on this journey begins with pain and it's up to me to navigate to the destination, l waste time on trails of despairity or doom.
Right now l'm on a path that scares the fuck out of me, the energy is hard to contain and l use a lot of distractions to get from one milestone to the next.
Stuff only a survivor like us here learn to endure.
Part of the sharing of our lives here in real time brings instant pangs of sorrow, when l read your sadness it hit me and l choked up, we're not alone.
l wish l could do more than post a comment or ponder and pray. I'm glad we have this place to gather and provide each other support.
In closing: This year on The Day of Disclosure l made it a new anniversary. Last July 6th l celebrated my birthday; 53 years plus 4. The four years on this journey for survivorship are something to be proud of. So now l have two anniversaries on the same day.

Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"


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