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#368408 - 08/18/11 12:26 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: petercorbett]
pcg514 Offline

Registered: 08/17/11
Posts: 4
Loc: L.A.
I just woke up, must have passed out after I wrote this. I'm freaking out, tears, shaking ..feeling like I made a huge mistake.. Its all way too intense. It's so disturbing to for me to read it.. Physically makes me sick.. What's even more messed up is, I feel like they still have control, humiliation, power... As the side effects are alive in my head and body.

#368410 - 08/18/11 01:47 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: pcg514]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Hang on bro, disclosure brings out all the repressed/suppressed memories and the energy coiencides with the terror you endured.
We truely share our lives here. I'm really glad you found this place but sad to read how you got here. My thoughts will be hoping for your peace.
You can do this!

The rewards of triumph are located beyond the pitfalls of despair

Edited by men_of_hrts.dbw (08/18/11 01:54 PM)
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

#368412 - 08/18/11 02:40 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Mountainous Buck Offline

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota

I think what you are experiencing is understandable and a natural part of the process of letting go of the memories-AND the feelings that were kept inside for all those years.

For me it came in waves as I fought to face the demons of my past.

The feeling part after memories see the light of day was the hardest for me: now I see that those feelings belong to the past and that I have a life to live, however haltingly I may live it as I work through the consequences of the abuse and of the bad decisions that undermined my life years later as an adult.

There are resources here at MS, including the books and articles accessed on the homepage. "Evicting the Perpetrator" has it's own discussion thread here:

Be Well
Take Care of Patrick
Check in with the brothers here who support you unconditionally.


We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

#368421 - 08/18/11 07:02 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: petercorbett]
kb8715 Offline

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Patrick sorry ya had to join us, but damn glad you decided to heal.

Take it easy and give it time. This place and the men here will help ya heal.

Good luck and welcome.


"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my son's senior year HS Yearbook.

#368447 - 08/19/11 02:59 AM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: kb8715]
pcg514 Offline

Registered: 08/17/11
Posts: 4
Loc: L.A.
Thanks everyone I really appreciate support. I got 3 recommendations for psychiatrists and one whom specializes in trauma psychotherapy, I've realized this situation is too big for me to try and handle on my own.

#368457 - 08/19/11 08:39 AM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: pcg514]
TheBobcatAgain Offline

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 523
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
That's a good step forward, buddy - realizing that you need help to get through this.

I find it truly sad that men are taught not to ask for help. I wonder if it's part of the reason why there are so few resources available to male survivors.

Hang in there, bro. You're doing just fine.


You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

#368495 - 08/19/11 09:15 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Disappointed Offline

Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 541
Loc: U.S.A.
Hi Patrick,

Welcome here. I'm so sorry you had to endure that, but I'm glad you have found this site, so you can share your history with those who have been there and understand.

Godspeed in your healing,


#368682 - 08/22/11 05:07 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: pcg514]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1739
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Patrick

Welcome to the site man. I know that you will find a lot of encouragment and insight on the site.

Heal well

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#368696 - 08/22/11 08:01 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: whome]
Czaesar72 Offline

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA

You will soon realize that verbalizing your feeling is an important part of our healing process as survivors. I commend you for being so brave as to no to hide your feelings any more. Also, it's great thing, you're seeking professional hep as well. Take care brother!


A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

#445186 - 08/22/13 11:22 PM Re: (Intro) Invisable, do you see me? [Re: pcg514]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6300
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
dear Patrick,

your story hurts to read, but i thank you for posting it.

sharing your memories with other survivors lightens the load a little.
that has been my experience.


stay strong.


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