After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Michael Spring and Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D.
This book is not about sexual abuse. I am writing a review of it because from what I've gathered from this site, affairs are something that will have to be addressed by a good portion of us as part of the acting out of the man we love.
This book was AWESOME for me. I read a few others that were not. The other books I read asked me to take on an inordinate amount of the blame and responsibility for the affair(s) (you know, the one(s) I DIDN'T HAVE!!) Anyway, this one offers practical insight into reclaiming or stepping away from your marriage. Dr. Spring is clear in explaining the feelings that accompany the betrayal (a relief because I thought I actually considered I might be crazy and physically felt the sickest I've ever felt while still being able to stand).
Many of the exercises she prescribes may not be do-able depending on where your spouse/partner is in their recovery process.
What I liked about the book is the clear, level headed, practical approach she takes to restoring a severely damaged relationship.
Because it isn't written for CSA partners, it does not address the unique challenges we can expect to face, but for a solid overview of rehabilitating a relationship, with concrete steps to move forward, if your spouse is willing to do the preliminary work, this is a good start.
Wife of a survivor