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#367304 - 08/03/11 05:06 PM Please, I need mental help?
Jems_jil Offline

Registered: 08/03/11
Posts: 1
Before I explain my problem, I wish that you do not make fun of me and take this very serious because I am taking it seriously and i'm also scared of this situation i'm in.

Hello everyone, How are you all doing today? I am not doing to good. I need someones help with a mental state of mind I am in right now. This may sound weird and wrong but I used to watch a variety of sexual activities through the internet. I have quit now because I know it is wrong and I have a girlfriend, but I have run into a bigger problem. Whenever my girlfriend is away over someones house or even a family members house, I can see in my mind her cheat on me with her uncle or step dad or with her best friend. I have tried to get rid of the thoughts but they always come back at random intervals but especially when we are on the phone and she says "Hold On" and puts the phone down while her family member or best friend is making noises or talking in the background. The sad part is that I can picture every detail. I know she doesn't do this because she told me she is a virgin. I need help. Please, I've only told a friend that I have these thoughts and he said he doesn't know what to do. I need these thoughts to go away because it is killing the way I look at my girlfriend and destroying my relationship with her. Please, help me...

#367337 - 08/04/11 12:45 AM Re: Please, I need mental help? [Re: Jems_jil]
Fissy Tsickens Offline

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
This is what's wrong with porn. It is so easy to get hooked on that fantasy sex, then we imagine we can recreate it ourselves, or worse that our loved ones are recreating it behind our backs. I'm sorry you're going through this, Jems.

If you have a therapist, you should address this problem with him/her. Relationships are built on trust, and it sounds as though your trust in her is compromised. Good luck.



Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

#367659 - 08/08/11 05:10 AM Re: Please, I need mental help? [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
hopeandtry Offline

Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 476
Not sure if I'm allowed to post here since I'm not a survivor, but this sounds very much like what I have...OCD (the obsessive, intrusive thoughts part of it). I'm no expert of course but just thought I'd throw in my two cents.

#368053 - 08/13/11 04:41 PM Re: Please, I need mental help? [Re: hopeandtry]
thefutureorbust Offline

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
they are just thoughts, how you react to them will predict the outcome. If you say "omg here we go again" then they will be fueled and be negative and will come back strong, if you say "ok there are the thoughts, they cant hurt me, Im ok they will lose power. You may have to distract yourself by doing math problems or counting to 200 or say the alphabet. You need to learn cognitive behavioral techniques to dsitract from the thoughts. After my abuse as a Kid I used to obsess that I was gay, that I talked, walked or projected gayness. So I would do everything to talk a certain way or act a certain way...I also used to think the devil would enter my soul after watching the exorcist so I used to say "god rules, devil sucks, devil suck and god rules, probably 800 times a day to myself. It got to the point I would start crying cause I couldnt stop saying it. Or If I touched something with my right hand, i HAD to touch it with the left...these OCD actions and thoughts are normal for survivors, you have to learn how to re direct them. They are bad habits nothing more

"What does not kill me makes me stronger"


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