I found this today and liked it because it is simple and straight forward, and these days i need black and white. Gray is no place for me.Treatment for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Individual and group therapies can help survivors heal their childhood wounds and learn to create healthy sexual boundaries as adults. Successful treatments will address the following issues:
•guilt: survivors need to be told over and over again that "it's not your fault"; therapies can help them identify and seek alternatives to self-punishing thoughts and behaviours
•feelings of being tainted: survivors need to learn that "I am okay physically and in every other way, and not damaged goods"
•low self-esteem: survivors need a lot of love and encouragement in believing that they are okay and good, as well as recognition for achieving small goals
•trust: group therapies can help a survivor learn to give and take support and gradually trust again
•boundaries and empowerment: survivors can learn what healthy boundaries are and practice asserting themselves through peer support and role playing
•opportunities to express feelings: in order to protect themselves both during and after the abuse, many survivors have had to stuff intense anger inside of them so it doesn't show; survivors need support and encouragement to express these repressed feelings which can otherwise lead to physical sickness, clinical depression or suicidehttp://heretohelp.bc.ca/publications/factsheets/child-sexual-abuse
My T has helped me understand that unless I can learn to forgive that sad, lonely, scared little boy, I will remain frozen. We have to find a way to understand that the feelings of being tainted or damaged or less than, stem from the changes in our brain function. We have to keep encouraging each other and then listen. Not disregard others here or at home when they show kindness just because we dont feel worthy. Accepting small gifts of caring in the spirit they were meant is crucial. We feel better when we do things for others yet we wont grant them the same joy. Sometimes we just have to get out of our own way.
We are all very vulnerable here, i remember feeling relief finding this community of souls like me. But sometimes we dont realize what our own boundaries are, we just are not aware. There can be a fine line between a common sharing to triggering and i was confused how to handle it. Listen to that little voice and the tiny hairs on your neck if you feel like you are being taken from your comfort zone. Trust is so important for us to move forward, we need to feel that things we share will not be used to take advantage of, shame or ridicule us. Both here and in our lives.
I feel really lucky I have found this place - it has given me great hope. But hope is nothing if it does not have a plan, its just a dream thats unattainable. Going forward I finally understand that what happened to that terrifies little boy can explain so much about my behavior all along and where I find myself today, I had always felt so alone. Ultimately though, the thing we really need is accountability. Understand what happened to us so we can put it in context, but then take personaly responsibility. That is the key to healing. I love the sharing here, its so important but so are action plans.
Would love to hear about the steps and means others have taken towards their place of wellness from those with more experience. I know for many spirituality is a great source of strength and its important to respect others belief system. But as a secular humanist, it would be cool to hear about what is working for you. What you tried and didnt work and what you found to be important touch stones along the path.