I'm with you here. I have similar confusions and I'm focusing on the intimacy end. What is it? What kinds of intimacy are there? And intimacy doesn't always mean sex, or things of a sexual nature.
Similar experiences with porn as it was introduced to me as well and used to break the 'ice' you might say..
I haven't allowed myself contact sexually with another for over ten years now...porn has filled the gaps and distorted my view and understanding of women and relations....
Sigh...but I'm working on it with my T....slowly, as it is so personal and shameful
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