Recently, I've been frequenting some sites looking for anon interactions with other men. Not a confession, although it kinda feels like one, since I am a bit ashamed of myself for going back there. But, I've been struggling with my sexuality for a long time ever since the abuse started and I was just looking for answers. Some days I felt straight and others gay. It's difficult when you can't place a finger on who you are supposed to be even when your eyes are open.
Anyway, I had met one of the guys from the site yesterday and I found myself enjoying the conversation (in public which I am not used to doing). However, after the date was over, I found myself going from cloud 9 to cloud -999. I'm afraid of what this means, but at the same time I'm not. IDK. But, I guess, I just have to take this slow until I figure SOMETHING out.
Hey, if "black sheep" means you're the only non-douche of the family, take that with some pride.