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#363630 - 06/05/11 05:52 AM Re: IT was not a CRIME [Re: Still]
Napoleon Offline

Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
What about a civil lawsuit?

My perp is poor, and like the old saying goes, you can't get blood out of a rock. Can't get the cops to do anything about it. I fell like all he has ever done is put me off. "I need to talk to the DA" and then twenty excuses why hasn't, or can't yet...

If he has a life like that: he may be willing to pay you just to keep you from telling everyone in town what he was like...

�Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.� Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

#363641 - 06/05/11 02:20 PM Re: IT was not a CRIME [Re: Still]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
That would be cool, but without a conviction, a civil judgement and/or proof, I would end-up sued: i.e. f**ked again. But...I've already forgiven them and wished them well. Its just the looking at the truth is rather harsh.

#363646 - 06/05/11 06:26 PM Scope of Forgiveness [Re: Still]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I guess the question on the table now is : "do I forgive society, humanity and supposed civilization?"

How do we forgive humanity that has not ever, in all of its history, generated one single common rule or hinderense against CSA? Do we forgive our very own people and families for devouring us and turning away when the damage done is too ugly for their limitations?

How do we forgive societies that allow so many children to be considered a "sexual delicacy" for the rich and shameless?

How do any of us forgive civilizations for creating genocide, oppression and unspeakable crimes such as CSA. Do we forgive the civilized churches for cultivating abuse and covering it up with mechanized corruption reaching all levels of authority?

I forgave the 4 older boys whom are all older men now. That was MY prerogative and MY option as it was years of offense perpetuated upon ME. I forgave them without their requesting so. But I cannot find my way to forgiving the big-picture. I cannot forgive the inherently evil occupants of Earth. That's simply not within my authority to do so. God will cast a summary judgement upon Earth, and I'll step out of the way and watch. I am not without sin, but I am not OF this world, nor do I devour the souls of children.

I cannot forgive societies that demonize victims of CSA, or even marginalize those who seek justice or healing.

I remain open to input on this.

#363673 - 06/06/11 11:00 AM Re: Scope of Forgiveness [Re: Still]
tommyp72 Offline

Registered: 05/21/11
Posts: 12
Loc: Virginia
I typically shy away from specific references to matters of faith as there are so many views even within Christianity regarding heaven, hell, forgiveness, eternity, and the like. But I cannot leave this one alone. A long time ago when I was going through a remarkably difficult time, a woman who I did not know, gave my sister a beautiful painting of Michael, the arch angel. On the slate was a verse from Isaiah 54, "No weapon forged against you shall prosper...." The following verses point out that we have no reason to fear the weapons created by evil forces because it was God who made the evil forces and therefore they cannot have more power in our lives than God."It was I who created the blacksmith..." Yet even knowing this, forgiveness is tricky business. I won't pretend that I have a handle on it even coming from a faith tradition that has a its very foundation, forgiveness and reconciliation. I suppose if we are looking for the answer to whether it is reasonable for us to consider forgiving society and humanity in general we have to accept the teaching of the master of forgiveness, Jesus of Nazareth. Even after being subjected to humiliation, torture, and finally the cruelest sort of execution, his words about his enemies were, "Father forgive them, for the do not know what they do." I struggle with my life and hate that all my goings and doings are adversely effected by the actions of a man who decided that I was fair game for his twisted desires and needs when I was far too young to protect myself and even too young and vulnerable to allow myself to remember my five years in his control. Now as an adult with a family (second time around), I have to relive it all because "I am ready to handle it" but feel anything but ready. Do I forgive him? Myself? Humanity? In the words of Upanishads, "Thou art that." There is no separation. We, good, bad, indifferent, all come from the same source of life. So I work at my feeble attempts to understand the concept of forgiveness and wonder at the Christ who said "Forgive them..." I wish for you peace in your journey, Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken.

#363678 - 06/06/11 01:10 PM Re: IT was not a CRIME [Re: Still]
jls Offline

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Let's face it: What's lawful and what constitutes justice are two different things. I've often questioned whether what happened to me was a crime or not, since as other people have said in my jurisdiction, according to the laws at the time I was legally old enough to consent, although those laws have since changed. That said, the perpretrators can't be charged under the new laws since the abuse took place when they weren't yet in effect. Does that make what happened to me any less abusive? Obviously not. The fact that the new laws reflect changing attitudes about the sexual abuse of youth is a good thing so that's what I'm taking from it.

Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And well change the world.

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