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#341219 - 10/01/10 03:45 AM Without End
midnight51 Offline

Registered: 09/02/03
Posts: 145
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio
Broken and disaffected
I lay naked, unearthed,
bathed and battered
to be abandoned
from abandonment.

Displaced hatred misplaced
and erased form my congenital
bonds--molecular structure fused
with a fuse
so someday they may scatter.

Identity is an idea
for the demiurge, born without,
I lay naked, and wasted,
awaiting to be awoke,
or finally rest asunder.


#341258 - 10/01/10 12:31 PM Re: Without End [Re: midnight51]
traillius Offline

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 260
sounds full of pain, but at least its here on the screen and not inside you as much.

#341259 - 10/01/10 12:34 PM Re: Without End [Re: midnight51]
Sobernow Offline

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma

lots of extremes in your writing

it seems my life is that way --- always in the ditch somehow

seeking healing and recovery can help to get us in the middle-of-the-road

it is worth the fight

#363638 - 06/05/11 08:12 AM Re: Without End [Re: midnight51]
earlybird Offline

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007

“….molecular structure fused
with a fuse”

This is a dense poem where each line paints the picture so brightly as to almost blind me as a reader. I want to deny it for you and even more so for me. This line of yours quoted above was particularly haunting. Overlay that line with a previous line;

“Displaced hatred misplaced”

And I read into the poem where, as with far too many survivors of SA, the subject person within the poem is turning the anger inwards therefore longing for;

“so someday they may scatter” and then ending with a chilling last resort “or finally rest asunder.”

Well done well written – The weight of your poem in some strange fashion helps lift some of the tonnage from my shoulders. Thanks

Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified


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