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#53268 - 01/11/04 03:29 AM Re: Silent for so long
scarman Offline

Registered: 01/09/04
Posts: 74
Loc: London On Canada
Rick, I was 16yrs old when I was abused by a former Highschool teacher. I came forward 1 1/2 yrs ago to the police. This Sept he was convicted and sentenced to jail,(too short, but at least he'll never work with kids again). I told my brother the day I came home from court and told my story to a room full of my abusers supporters. Since then, I've been very open about it. I am currently in a support group and this has made things alot better for me. I didn't think I would ever have the guts to tell my mother, but I did it about 2months ago!! Since then, I have put it on my web site,(don't know if I'm alowed to give the address, but I will later if I can) I gave an interview about me as an athlete,(I'm a pro triathlete) and managed to slip it in there. Since the interview came out, I've been getting plenty of support from people. I've been in such a great mood since then!! So, I guess this is my long way of saying that yes I was back and forth about telling my story, but I'm soooo glad I have. It's been 2yrs since I first called the police, and I feel much more complete for being open about it. I think it has to do with us taking back the power that our abusers stole from us long ago.

good luck and be at peace with whatever you decide for now ;\)

scarman stands for the tatoos I have, and also the emotional scars I've accumulated from my past.

#53269 - 01/23/06 01:59 AM Re: Silent for so long
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Just thought I'd bring this back to the top - it's my first ever post here from January 2nd 2004.

I remember how pleased I was at the amount of responses I received at the time. I also think it quite apt that the last comment was from Scarman who's abuser had been recently jailed.

Maybe it was that comment that planted the seed in my head. I hope I get the same result soon!

Best wishes....Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#53270 - 01/23/06 02:05 AM Re: Silent for so long
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

That's so cool you brought this back up. Your posts on that thread reflect so much of the surprise and euphoria that a new survivor feels when he comes here and finds that he is believed, welcomed and supported. It's great to be reminded of that feeling.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#362932 - 05/24/11 11:18 PM Re: Silent for so long [Re: roadrunner]
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Just thought I'd bring this back to the top.

My first actual post from over 7 years ago that I brought back to the top over 5 years ago.

I've been back here over the last few days, and still see the same questions, like does it ever get better.

This shows you the responses I received several years ago, the names are mostly different to those on the site now. I hope that means that most of those people found release here (I know many of them did). What I do notice is that, the 'new generation' of Survivors/Brothers are as equally supportive as those that I found when I first came here.

They dragged me bag from the precipice that I was so ready to step over (I was half way over when I found this site, and they were the wind that blew me back onto solid ground).

Since then, much has changed.

I told the police.
I told the people I really needed to tell and others.
I went back to where it happened - just a place.
I achieved a conviction.
Stopped the perv in his tracks - I know he will never get near another kid now before he dies (so does he).
Found out that there are those that think he must be innocent, despite the fact that there were finally 3 complainants in court to back up my case - there are more that believe the conviction which is why the kids are safe.
I confronted the perp face to face successfully - took away any remaining power.
Indirectly heard that I deserved a medal within the community - nobody knew who I was initially (although I'm sure many do now due to individuals present in the court - I don't really care anymore).
Heard that I must have been after money after all that time - never received or wanted a penny - the case received local media publicity.
Got the satisfaction of knowing that I could not have done more to right a wrong!
Got another little goddaughter who is like the sun on a freezing winters day (now 4 and lights up any room).
Had a serious crash which has taken me over 3.5 years to get over due to major injuries with some complications.
Lost my job of 9 years, but confident of gaining a better one (way to go).
Possibly got another court case in 2012 following crash - other driver has already been convicted.
I'm very much alive and probably more chilled /relaxed / confident now than I have been for decades, and it all started here!

So keep supporting each other and good luck to you all for teh future. I made it, so can you!

Best wishes ...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#362969 - 05/25/11 05:36 PM Re: Silent for so long [Re: RICK57]
just me Offline

Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 200

My Story

#363002 - 05/26/11 07:18 AM Re: Silent for so long [Re: just me]
pittsburgh Offline

Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 105
Loc: west Chester, Pa
Hi: Not sure how all this works have used such a form. I am new to all this. I at last have started to come to grips with what happened those many years ago. The trip in finding and undrstanding what happened has been eye opening to say the least. Thanks for being hear, I hope to come to some pease. So much anger for so many years. What a waste.

it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

#363409 - 06/01/11 03:42 PM Re: Silent for so long [Re: pittsburgh]
rage344 Offline

Registered: 06/01/11
Posts: 2
Loc: CA
as of two days ago i told the first person my wife (of almost a year woohoo) of my SA after 11 years of pretending that denying myself that it had happened and i decided to start looking for answers and can i say to all who posted on this thank you thank you thank you i feel more at peace knowing that im not the only who has built my wall up and tried to bury it and then come to realize that enough is enough time to move on. i dont think i could tell anyone else in my family right or friends i think it would just be to painful right now i hope overtime i will reach out more to my family but im dont know what to do anymore

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