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#363160 - 05/28/11 04:05 AM Why would he do this?
max52 Offline

Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 34
Loc: usa
It's not something that I thought of a lot over the years, I was 15 yrs. old, I had been home from a reform school for a few months and my brother who was 18 asked me if I wanted to go swimming with him and his friend from work at the local hotel pool.
My brother had always treated me like dirt, not typical sibling rivalry, but a loathing that he did not attempt to hide. I thought that since I had been away for a year and a half that perhaps things would be different, maybe he would like me now, I gladly accepted his invite.
What he did not tell me was that this "friend" from work was a sexual predator that would not leave him alone, he was always after him, he wanted a young guy, this predator was in his early 40's.
After we swam,we ended up in the steam room, nude. This guy talked sex non stop, it was obvious to me that he wanted, one of us. I had been around guys like this in reform school, they can't quit looking at you and can't shut up about sex.
After a while this perv. suggests that we all get a shower, my brother, my older brother, says, why don't you two go, I'll be in in a while.
I don't know why I went with the guy to the showers, I had always been in a role at home where I was the servant, do as you are told.
When we got in the shower this criminal grabed my penis, he wasted no time. I pushed him away, I was in good shape and kind of tough, I guess the guy got what he was after, he wanted
to touch me and he did it.
All of these years, I have been angry with my brother if I think about this, I feel like he offered me to this guy, I have brought it up to him and he says that he was lucky that he wasn't the one the guy got, not once has he ever said he was sorry, we no longer speak.
The wierd thing was at the time I was so numb from 18 months of sexual abuse at the reform school, that when this creep grabed me, I didn't even feel violated sexualy, as in being molested.

#363187 - 05/28/11 04:41 PM Re: Why would he do this? [Re: max52]
philistine Offline

Registered: 04/27/09
Posts: 212
Loc: Oregon
You had adjusted to a new (though really wrong) normal.
I'm sorry that your brother was such an ass (I would like to use stronger words)

Edited by philistine (05/28/11 04:41 PM)
Edit Reason: error correction

"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Nietzsche

#363255 - 05/30/11 01:21 AM Re: Why would he do this? [Re: philistine]
max52 Offline

Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 34
Loc: usa
You are right, I had adjusted to a new norm. Sexual contact on a daily bases is what I was used to,
For years I was puzzled, I was angry at my brother(who you describe quite well) but not at the perv. It's like I understood him, I was used to his kind. It makes me sick.
Thanks for your input,

#363259 - 05/30/11 02:44 AM Re: Why would he do this? [Re: max52]
Fissy Tsickens Offline

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
You are right, Max. Your brother offered you up to be the sacrifice to save his own ass. A low, cowardly thing to do. I'm sorry he did that to you. He hasn't apologized because he is a selfish coward. Unfortunately, this is just one of multiple ways older brothers betrayed our trust.



Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

#363387 - 06/01/11 06:21 AM Re: Why would he do this? [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
grumplestiltskin Offline

Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 30
Loc: Denver CO
This felt really familiar reading it, in terms of your relationship with your brother. I don't know, I'm still sort of new to this, don't really have anything useful to add. Just really hit me that other people have had similar experiences.

It's also why the whole 'brotherhood' meme on here squicks me out a little bit, but that's my thing I spose.


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