I did the same. I needed to control something, i was looking for intimacy. I was looking for a man that would tell me that it was wrong and that would help me. I wasn't gonna find it there. I looked for the solitude, i liked the feeling of being someone else(I even used a different name). The illusion of control, not knowing it was self destructive.
I don't know exactly why you do it. I can't even tell you to stop. All I can tell you is to be safe. Use protection, choose well, let people know where you are going, exert some control on the situation. This is not a game, it's your life. You are young and you have a lifetime ahead of you. You come here because you have hope for a better future, because you want support. Wether you believe me or not , you are taking the steps already, to heal yourself. You are a fighter. This is the hardest battle of your life. From where you stand, you may not see it, but there is true beauty in this world. there are kind genuine people that have no hidden agendas, that will help you through hard times. Don't be hard on yourself, what you are doing no one in here will judge or feel sorry for you. You are accepted in here without reservation, for who you are. No need to hide anymore my friend. Talk to people, vent, scream, we will never tire to listen. Talk to KB8715, Michael Joseph, OBI, BobCAT, Ren42, Gentlesoul, Castle, rm, to name a few who were and are there for me when i first came. Each in their on way will help you put the puzzle together. The support is here man, but it's your journey to take. But you will make it .
You can talk to me anytime bro