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#362684 - 05/21/11 04:48 PM Re: It was only once. [Re: fearlessnow]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 732
Loc: United States
There is no hierarchy of pain - there is just pain.

Don't count the number of times, or the severity, or the number of perps to try to understand why you are here.

Instead, look at your life and your spirit to see how you are affected.

If you're in a car accident, you don't look at the number, size, and type of cars involved to understand how to heal your injuries. You look at and listen to your body.



Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

#362686 - 05/21/11 05:01 PM Re: It was only once. [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
ren42 Offline

Registered: 03/26/11
Posts: 54

Edited by ren42 (12/28/12 09:19 PM)

#362704 - 05/22/11 01:37 AM Re: It was only once. [Re: fearlessnow]
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Currently in the UK there is something of a debate going on about the seriousness of rape (male against female) and the impact it may have. I believe in the US you are having 'Slut Marches' (I don't know what I think when I write that)!

Strangely today I sent a 9 page e-mail on the topic of child abuse to one journalist that had included the rape topic in his column!

This is an extract:

It was at Male Survivor, that I realised that there was no best way to have been abused. Previously I thought that had I been attacked and left half dead or killed by some weirdo, it would have been easier for myself and others to understand. I could have explained such circumstances to others without shame (obviously not if I’d been killed) and probably recovered quickly from the attack. Violence doesn’t seem to have the same taboo as abuse, particularly abuse of males. I realised that others had been groomed then abused by others that they had fully trusted, but we all shared the same shame regardless of whether there was violence or compliance. The people at this wonderful site made me realise that I should have no shame, as I had not had any relevant life experience, or the frames of reference to deal with what had happened to me, in any other way than I had done.

Best wishes Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#362717 - 05/22/11 05:43 AM Re: It was only once. [Re: RICK57]
philistine Offline

Registered: 04/27/09
Posts: 212
Loc: Oregon
I keep saying this, but it seems to never sink in.


"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Nietzsche

#362904 - 05/24/11 03:53 PM Re: It was only once. [Re: philistine]
Tom S. Offline

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 161
Loc: Nashville, Tn
Because of the secondary assaults and abuse I've received since it was first disclosed I was a 'victim', I can no longer view having relations with mother as abusive.
In fact, I use those experiences to substitute other female assaults, and especially those from the psychological industry, and I don't care who that might offend.
Tom S. in Tn.

' None are so enslaved as those falsely led to believe they are actually free '

#363079 - 05/27/11 06:03 AM Re: It was only once. [Re: Tom S.]
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/16/08
Posts: 314
Loc: Canada
Hello Guys,

I have not posted in a really long time, but this topic hits home on many fronts for me.

The pain we feel is subjective. To objectify what we went through in quantifiable terms defeats the very purpose we came here. The feeling of being understood here at MS transcends the feeling of loneliness we have all felt in our lives. Comparisons will only divide us.

Like others have said, pain is pain just the same. We all internalized the abuse differently. It is the resulting wounds that are common in so many of us. And as long as we are working towards recovery, we are working towards the same thing.

My two cents.



I am the warrior.

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