You've courageously begun to deal with your abuse in counseling, and you walked through the doors of MS. I'd say you're doing a lot of stuff just right.
Remember, so much was taken from us by the abuse. Sadly, before we begin healing many of us re-live this by inflicting more losses on ourselves. But it sounds like you're awake now, eco -- you're facing what happened to you and you understand that your previous ways of coping with the pain will only bring more heartache.
Lots of guys here who understand from personal experience what you're up against and who can walk through it with you. And, yeah, we know you're worth it.
Hang with us and heal.
"Whatever is rejected from the self appears in the world as an event."
- Carl Jung