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#35998 - 03/12/04 05:50 AM Told my best friend...
survive75 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 304
Loc: Massachusetts
I told my best friend (been friends since 8th grade) tonight about my abuse. His wife actually has been very instrumental in my recovery by being very open about her own childhood molestation experience. We were all talking about different political stuff tonight... and the catholic church scandal and the michael jackson stuff came up, and well... it sort of organically happened.

I'm really nervous (sick to my stomach, still feeling flushed) but that's not new. I feel that way everytime I tell about it, even in here at times. I didn't go into many details, just that it was my stepfather, the age I was, etc. His wife was really sweet... gave me a hug before I left. He kind of seemed nervous, but genuinely supportive. It was good, but I'm nervous as hell now. Everytime I tell, I am terrified that I will not be believed... even with people that I am close to.

I know I'll be glad that I told them in a few days... right now, i'm just a little freaked out.

-Sean

_________________________
-Sean

"Even though I know/I donít want to know/Yeah I guess I know/I just hate how it sounds"

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#35999 - 03/12/04 06:09 AM Re: Told my best friend...
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1986
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Sean,

It is a liberating feeling, letting it out. I am glad he is supportive.

I have been a lot of sharing lately and it has been well recieved. A lot better than the initial tellings.

Hang in there and keep breathing. It is getting better.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#36000 - 03/12/04 06:46 AM Re: Told my best friend...
coolcat Offline
Member

Registered: 02/23/04
Posts: 109
Loc: Winnipeg MB Canada
Hey, it cool that you have people who you can trust to tell. I am sure it is hard to tell someone and I know what you mean about people not believing you.
Take time for yourself and take care of yourself.
Gus

_________________________
Take it easy, Don't that the sounds of your own wheels drive you crazy....
Gus

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#36001 - 03/12/04 07:41 PM Re: Told my best friend...
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
hey sean,

what you done must have taken alot of guts,im very proud and i hope that maybe one day i will be able to speak out to close friends and family about my abuse,what you done takes alot of courage man,and its very understandable to be thinkin people wont belive you,i think in time that will pass for us all,you have taken one step closer to your recovery and i wish you the best of luck with it,i know you can do it mate..

take care mate....

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

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#36002 - 03/12/04 08:13 PM Re: Told my best friend...
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
told my best bud a few months back. he didnt understand at first, giving me the that happened a long time ago, how could it be affecting you now thing. as we talked more, and he learned more, he slowly understood. he has been a real friend. i dont regret telling him. i hope it works as well for you.

jeff

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#36003 - 03/13/04 02:30 AM Re: Told my best friend...
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Sean - try & relax.

From what you say about their responses, it sounds like a good move. Well done.

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#36004 - 03/13/04 04:44 PM Re: Told my best friend...
FlyWM Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Michigan
I am glad you told him, that is a huge step for anyone. I know the nervous feelingbut thingswill get easier in time. Just relax let it happen, you took a big step, and I am proud of you for that. I know telling people can be liberating, I tole my mother not too long ago, and she is ok with it in a way, but the point is it proved to me confession is good for the soul, and I am sure this experience will prove the same thing to you.

scott

_________________________
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible in not a declaration, it's a dare.

--Adidas

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#36005 - 03/14/04 05:12 PM Re: Told my best friend...
Texas_Mike Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/04
Posts: 135
Loc: San Antonio, Texas-The Lone-St...
Sean;
good move-i guess thats why they are your best friends.

talkin' about it is good; you may want to volunteer your time-i believe it creates success in recovery.

"turn up the heat in your relationship by becoming kinder & more generous. you become less critical, stubborn & judgemental."

for years i've beat myself up, treated myself like a shit-head-for a crime that was committed against me and i was adult when it happen. he was very lucky that i didn't unleash hell.....and i kept it inside...talkin is good..and if you can file a police report do so.

best

_________________________
"Passion, excitement, and confidence are the important medicines that you need every day"

Run 2 Live-Live 2 Run

Best,
"The Desert Runner" Mike

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