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#358631 - 04/05/11 01:31 AM Re: The Humiliating Moment (Possible Triggers) [Re: Still]
hopeandtry Offline

Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 476
Oh, Lost Spark. I feel for you. What terrible pain. I don't know what else to say. If you want to PM me and don't want to post on here, please feel free.

@Robbie, I hate it too, but you are going through recovery and you are empathetic to the needs of supporters...that is a huge deal and shows what a good heart you have.

#359139 - 04/09/11 07:59 PM Re: The Humiliating Moment (Possible Triggers) [Re: Still]
Lost Spark Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 73
Loc: Chicago, IL

You said nothing wrong... Unfortunately, no one will ever know the true pain, unless they're here, living in the same home, experiencing the constant arguments, trust issues, discoveries of the infidelities and what not. Not even a weekend of time together, will ever let people know EVERYTHING about someone... I'm sorry. I know it was the most profound moment for my husband, but it's true. And I know he understands that.

I'm loving. I'm supportive. I'm amazing. Damn it, I AM F*CKING amazing. I married a Survivor and stood by through EVERYTHING. Even the lies, infidelities and deception. How many women do that? Unfortunately, things are done. He's out. I'm out.

All I can hope for is good things for him. Hopefully someday I can truly forgive instead of holding back everything I do these days... I still hold his hand. We still kiss each other goodnight. We still say, 'I love you...'

But, a little piece of the 'good' me has died, along with our marriage... I know someday, another man will be out there and appreciate and love me, fully as I deserve... My husband has been saying that to me all week. For the first time, I know it wasn't me. I did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing wrong. And that I deserve more out of life...

I leave him in God's hands...

Lost Spark

P.S.- I resent that someone on here says that I have some serious issues.. To them I say, you don't know anything about me and our problems.... I'm sorry.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

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