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#357541 - 03/24/11 09:23 AM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: nonchalant]
mac80 Offline


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 38
Huh, I think I've got something else.


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#357553 - 03/24/11 10:46 AM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: mac80]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
In all respect, the term "ego-dystonic" sounds like psychological mumbo jumbo!

The "A" in SSA holds the key-what is he nature of the attraction: attraction to power (I was powerless in my csa); attraction to youthful innocence (I lost mine); attraction to confidence (I lacked belief in myself-my perps were elf confident); attraction to masculinity? (I was not a man- (my perps were athletes); attraction to domination (I wanted revenge And to have dominion over other males).

I also had abusive modeling of healthy sexuality from my mother-so my SSA fed a sense of loyalty to women in a twisted way.

Any term that illuminates is welcome- those that just put a label on things or cast ones own insecurities on another arent useful.



Edited by Mountainous Buck (03/24/11 11:46 AM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
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#357554 - 03/24/11 11:17 AM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: Mountainous Buck]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Mountainous Buck
In all respect, the term "ego-dystonic" sounds like psychological mumbo jumbo!

I agree with that. You have to have a PhD in psychology to understand it.

Your system could be set up like the response system in my local medical system
Originally Posted By: Mountainous Buck

The "A" in SSA holds the key-what is he nature of the attraction:

SSA-1 = to power (I was powerless in my csa);
SSA-2 = to youthful innocence (I lost mine);
SSA-3 = to confidence (I lacked belief in myself-my perps were elf confident);
SSA-4 = to masculinity? (I was not a man- (my perps were athletes);
SSA-5 = to domination (I wanted revenge
And to have dominion over other males).
SSA-6 = I also had abusive modeling of healthy sexuality from my mother-so my SSA fed a sense of loyalty to women in a twisted way.
SSA-9 = All of the above.

In my case this would make me: SSA - 1.2.3.4.6
But that's too unwieldy.
Since a lot of guys would be in this category, we could make it:
SSA - 69 grin


Originally Posted By: Mountainous Buck

Any term that enlightens is welcome- those that just put a label on things or cast ones own insecurities on another arent useful.


Allen





Edited by pufferfish (03/24/11 09:31 PM)

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#357566 - 03/24/11 01:23 PM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: pufferfish]
nonchalant Offline


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 42
Loc: Northern Ireland, UK
Talking about 'SSA' to anyone other than fellow survivors will have you ridiculed and told to stop believing religious nonsense

Ego-dystonic homosexuality is an actual classification


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#357571 - 03/24/11 03:05 PM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: nonchalant]
Bradley P Offline


Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 62
Loc: AR
But it's a psychological classification nonetheless...

Wouldn't talking almost anything about survivor issues with non-survivors sound foreign?

_________________________
"Life is for living, we all know...but I don't want to live it alone"-Chris Martin (Coldplay)

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#357584 - 03/24/11 05:30 PM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: Bradley P]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
Ego-dystonic refers to something that is not welcomed or comfortable in the individual. So, if you have same sex fantasies that make you uncomfortable or feel guilty, it would be considered ego-dystonic.

On the other hand, if you welcomed or enjoyed the fantasies without any guilt later, it would be ego-syntonic.

(Just some grad school psychobabble)

_________________________
Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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#357604 - 03/24/11 09:29 PM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: Bradley P]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Bradley P

Wouldn't talking almost anything about survivor issues with non-survivors sound foreign?


This is the problem so many of us have in communicating our problem with non-survivors. We have to actually build a communication base with them before we can actually tell them anything. That's because they have so many misunderstandings to start with.

Allen


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#357614 - 03/24/11 11:04 PM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: nonchalant]
Dan99 Offline


Registered: 06/18/07
Posts: 111
Loc: Washington DC
I appreciate this discussion. For me, the definition of having an unusual and unwanted arousal pattern is the best de>
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Work like you don't need the money;
dance like no one is watching;
sing like no one is listening;
love like you've never been hurt;
and live life every day as if it were your last.

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#357634 - 03/25/11 07:32 AM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: Dan99]
Aberrant30 Offline


Registered: 01/29/10
Posts: 139
Loc: I live on the Emerald Coast, F...
Brace your self guys..i'm gay. Ooohhhh lol, just jokeing with you, i do that when i'm trying to break the tention. My names Tom and i'm an openly gay proud survior, that being said i want to thank bob for opening this conversation. I first got here and hear the term SSA, and was floored by it. Then the worest of the worest, some one accuesed me of haveing it. That my love, yes i say love, for another man is unwhoelsome, I got to admit, it made me very upset and angery. But over time listening to how my fellow straight brothers suffer with this, i decied to read and pay attention to what they say. From that i've learned not to be offended by it or how others might react to my being a homosexual. Why do you ask? Because it's about love, not about sex and attraction, that's what seperates it all. When i think about being with a man, i think of holding hands, nervous first kisses and embraces, well...that and the other stuff to..lol. But ultimately that's almost every gay man's goal, same as a straight man's, to make that connection with you lover, to find..the home you never knew you where missing, in the heart and arms of someone you never knew, but can't live with out. We all to quickly (belive it or not alot with surviors) to put ourselves in neat simple to understand catagories that make it easier for us to understand some one. But sexuality and attraction are ever changing shades of gray, does this mean i wouldn't freak out if i acutaly ended up falling in love with a woman, but in a world like this, you bet your bipy i would embrace it..evenutaly lol.

Love, Tom:

_________________________
"The beginning of eternity
The end of time and space
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every place."
Hint: It's in front of you right now.
(Formerly known as Aberrant30

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#357643 - 03/25/11 10:03 AM Re: Homosexuality vs. SSA [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Ken-here is my surprise-
Why would this term "ego dystonic" have a definition hinged on the VALUE one ascribes to the feeling of attraction? Imposing value judgements is something I though modern psychology was done with.

Terms like "welcome" or "unwelcome" divert the real issue of the nature, cause, and ultimate resolution of said feelings and judges the person involved.

This is especially unhelpful for sa survivors - we have enough damage and wounding to work thru first without these categories that impart little understanding or pre>


Edited by Mountainous Buck (03/25/11 12:35 PM)
_________________________
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�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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