Sally and worldcenter...I'm in my 30's too! And not early thirties
Sally, you come here and say what you have to say as many times as you need. That's what we are here for. Before I discovered this site, I, too, felt like a broken record to my one and only confidant...my mom. But she never made me feel like I was a broken record, thank goodness =)
worldcenter, you asked how I reached that point of support? For one thing, as I've said before, he did tell me and never denied the issues. But more importantly, it's because I have gotten to see WHO he wants to be. And because he works so hard! And progress has been made. Ladies, these men have issues with unconditional love. But it doesn't mean that they do not want to know it...to give or to receive it. These men have issues with trust. They trusted someone at one time and took a huge, life changing blow because of it. But it doesn't mean that they do not want to know trust again. Not only did my b/f have this happen to him, but on top of that, he had no support or love at home either. These are all things at age 39 that he's learning how to do. He wants these things, but it certainly will not be overnight! Heck, we are on our 4th year together and there's still lots of work to be done. But again, I've seen 'HIM'. The man that doesn't want to live with these chains any longer. I can't help but support him in any way that I can. Is it easy? No! Have I wanted to throw in the towel. Yes! But again, I'm in it as long as he's fighting!
You ladies also mentioned the things that you want...kids, etc. When he is not triggered, what discussions do you all have regarding this? Does he want those things too? If he wants those things and you see him fighting...but has setbacks, which are going to happen, then keep up the fight! The love and gratitude is there...they just may not be able to express it...yet