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#35561 - 07/03/02 09:25 AM Re: Is this normal for a 9yo boy to shower with Step-father????
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
i doubt that I would shower with my 9 year old, but I remember my dad atleast once, not sure why nothing strange was going on.

As of now no kids, if it was a daughter the answer would be a little more obvious, no for sure. By 9 most kids can wash themselves.

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#35562 - 07/06/02 03:04 PM Re: Is this normal for a 9yo boy to shower with Step-father????
manchild Offline

Registered: 11/22/00
Posts: 35
Loc: netherlands
I have reread my replies on this topic and i felt hate for what i have written, because i see similarity with words that perps use to deny the effect of damage of their deeds.

SA or sex is not allways where we suspect it is and unfortunately SA exists because it is there where we don't suspect it or where people don't want to see it.

#35563 - 07/07/02 12:44 AM Re: Is this normal for a 9yo boy to shower with Step-father????
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
What you wrote in your first reply was absolutely right,
I think being a 9yr-old, when i feel respected and comfortable with the man and his nakedness and my privacy is not intruded it may even be fun.
Let me be clear: I don't want to give any man an excuse to force a boy to showering with him.
I agree that it's not the act of father and son being comfortable together, naked in a shower that is the problem.
the problem comes when one of them feels uncomfortable, especially the boy. At that point power and influence become a problem as well, and for me certainly the abuse of power my abusers had over me had a worse effect than the sex.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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