Thanks for asking for help on an issue that is both tough to deal with and tough to admit that you struggle with. I have been struggling for years with a porn habit. One thing that has helped weaken the grip of porn on me lately and hopefully permanently, is my new understanding of why I have found it so compelling in the first place. What I was seeking in frantically, compulsively, guiltily consuming porn (and it is kind of like gorging on junk food - the junk food of sexual intimacy) was CONTROL. This time, and this time and THIS time I get to be in control, I get to feel pleasure or even ecstasy (in it's original meaning of transcendence of self, literally it means "standing outside of" ). And thus I don't have to always feel like a victim. But what I was really doing was making the wound worse, digging the barbed arrow of trauma even deeper into my flesh. Constantly seeing the scene of my and my brothers' abuse played out before my eyes was not relieving the stress but amplifying it. Hence the need for more and more and more in the age old cycle of addiction, habituation and greater addiction. Recognizing this makes me feel more in control of what I do when I am alone, less tempted and more able to walk away from temptation.
My two cents worth... keep us posted on your progress.
Edited by jurek (02/08/11 10:39 AM)
Edit Reason: typo
Jurek ogorek, kielbasa i sznurek, kielbasa uciekla, Jurek do piekla!