Cruelty denies that the victim is a person. For the abuser you are not a person, but a sexual object. People who reject survivors who disclose are slotting them into categories that dehumanize them in the minds of those who behave this way--you are "gay", damaged goods, a potential abuser, whatever. However sick and abusive we may deem these kinds of behavior, it happens all the time.
Morality or whatever you want to call begins with a recognition that you are dealing with persons, not objects.