The last few weeks have been pretty tense for me and this past Sunday, I had a melt down in front of my wife and son. I had two counseling sessions scheduled. One with my outgoing therapist and one with my new one. that one was on Wednesday. it went pretty good and my new therapist felt that I was putting too much pressure and being too hard on myself.
Last night, I was able to sit down and talk to my wife about the sessions and where I was at. I told her about many writings on MS and that given my sessions with the counselors and seeing that what was being brought to the point to consider, was that it is uncommon for guys who have been sexually assaulted to have same sex thoughts that that it is normal process.
Today is Friday and I didn't get up until about 2:30 PM. Now I didn't sleep real well last night, but I felt like a ton of bricks where taken from my shoulders.
I don't think that this makes me bi or gay, but rather, possibly, a normal guy, whose had to deal with some abnormal events in my life. Oh, Today is my 22nd anniversary of marriage to my wife, so, maybe this is an omen that things are gonna get better. I hope that the same for others like myself.
Forgiving does not always mean everything goes back to the way it was. There are still natural consequences for what was done.