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#345871 - 11/20/10 08:27 PM A piece of you here:
ErickW Offline


Registered: 11/06/10
Posts: 15
Loc: Fl
Thank you, I send hours reading new/old treads and posts,. Too all those that came before me and have left a piece of you here, I thank you. Thank you for putting into words what I can not. (Yet). I am newly on this journey and reading what have been left here for me, to let me know that I am not alone.
I am not the only one with theses thoughts and feeling struggling to make scene of everything past and present.
I am dieing to take off the mask and step into the light but at every turn, there is a road block (a fear that makes no scene ) but I guess that's all part of the journey. I just ordered my first book I will see where that takes me.
Thanks for having the courage that I do not have ...YET

ps
it was no easy task convincing that 5yr old inside, that he is not to blame at all, for anything, but after a few days and 1/2 a notebook Q&A I think I just might have him convinced. it was a conversation that I would never ever let anyone have with me/him, , if it was ever brought up all we ever heard was LALALALAA...........he is after all a pretty stubborn 5yr old
Erick


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#345877 - 11/20/10 09:46 PM Re: A piece of you here: [Re: ErickW]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Erick, the road blocks make perfect sense. They are present for many of us along the journey. It takes time to deal with them so be patient with yourself.

I think you show a lot of courage in being here and reaching out to the men here. They are an amazing bunch!

Wishing you all the best in your journey.

Dan

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#345883 - 11/21/10 12:07 AM Re: A piece of you here: [Re: ErickW]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother,ErickW,

You sound familiar to me. Little Pete was 5 yrs old when his "mom" got to him. Then came Ralph starting at 8, and those strangers.

Ridding ourselves of that mask is a formidable task indeed. I am still struggling with mine. It's been a tough 2 years since all this stuff came to the surface.

Like you, i struggled with little Pete. You see i loved my perpetrator. I always wished that my "mom" was dead. But i never felt that way with Ralph. Because he loved me. "Because he told me so."

When i got little Pete back at that WoR in Georgia, in '09. I was on cloud 9. However, once i got him back, i didn't know how to relate to him. I made a post a while back, now that i got him, what am i supposed to do?

I went from the infinity of the heavens When i got little Pete back). To the depths of my soul, and i was standing at the gates of hell. Thinking of harming myself (suicide), because i let myself get too overwhelmed in trying to process all those long buried secrets.

I still have part of my mask on, i thought that i got rid of it back at Hope Sprigs WoR, last month. Macho man on the outside. But a very shy, lonely, pissed off sexually abused boy on the inside. But slowley but surely, we are coming out from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine. As he is me.

You are doing OK, my fraternal brother. Like i say in my introductions. Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life.

You do indeed have courage, you came to this web site, you have made a few posts.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Heal well, my brother ErickW, heal well.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#346106 - 11/23/10 10:13 PM Re: A piece of you here: [Re: petercorbett]
ErickW Offline


Registered: 11/06/10
Posts: 15
Loc: Fl
I have just started this prossess but I think I am off to a good start


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