Hi, my fraternal brother,ErickW,
You sound familiar to me. Little Pete was 5 yrs old when his "mom" got to him. Then came Ralph starting at 8, and those strangers.
Ridding ourselves of that mask is a formidable task indeed. I am still struggling with mine. It's been a tough 2 years since all this stuff came to the surface.
Like you, i struggled with little Pete. You see i loved my perpetrator. I always wished that my "mom" was dead. But i never felt that way with Ralph. Because he loved me. "Because he told me so."
When i got little Pete back at that WoR in Georgia, in '09. I was on cloud 9. However, once i got him back, i didn't know how to relate to him. I made a post a while back, now that i got him, what am i supposed to do?
I went from the infinity of the heavens When i got little Pete back). To the depths of my soul, and i was standing at the gates of hell. Thinking of harming myself (suicide), because i let myself get too overwhelmed in trying to process all those long buried secrets.
I still have part of my mask on, i thought that i got rid of it back at Hope Sprigs WoR, last month. Macho man on the outside. But a very shy, lonely, pissed off sexually abused boy on the inside. But slowley but surely, we are coming out from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine. As he is me.
You are doing OK, my fraternal brother. Like i say in my introductions. Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life.
You do indeed have courage, you came to this web site, you have made a few posts.
"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Heal well, my brother ErickW, heal well.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.