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#343780 - 10/31/10 04:58 PM My counselor laughed at me
DarkHadou Offline

Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 117
today, counselor intern, only one I can afford, she laughed at me when I told her that I don't like being 26, that I think it's old and I rather be a teenager or a child instead. It was more like a giggle that could of turned into a laugh if I kept talking about it, she covered her mouth and was smiling. Plus, the session today sucked, I had homework to draw when I was in an unsafe place and when I was happy, I did and she talked about it the WHOLE session, talked about it and it's just 4 stick figures. "Why did you draw the arms like this? I told her I felt depressed during a specific time from the drawing " What do you mean you felt depressed? EVERY FREAKIN THING I SAID She wants me to elaborate. "What do you mean you were happy?" It gets on my nerves.

Therapy & Recovery is NOT for me. I Don't know if this exists but I want more aggressive approach for Child Sex Abuse Victims, I read a story about 2 therapists that used attachment therapy for a girl who had Reactive Attachment Disorder. Okay, the girl died cause they were suffocating her, but other people who went through this therapy said that it helped them, many of them said this.

Does anything like this exist for Child Sex Abuse Victims? Therapy that is more real than just meditating, hugging, etc... all of that soft stuff that I find boring.

#343785 - 10/31/10 06:16 PM Re: My counselor laughed at me [Re: DarkHadou]
BigV Offline

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Western Canada
I've been thinking the same thing to. I've been seeing a councelor intern at my college, and I actually told her that I know all the tricks in the book with psycologists. I basically told her "keep this real, or I'm gone, I'm not interested in you constantly reflecting what I say back to me...challange me."

So far, it's gone well, but I made it clear what I wanted to get out of it.

I think what might make anyone's search for help more productive is asking upfront just what kind of therapy they do. Is it mostly gaustault, neuro-linguistic programing or cognitive behavioral therapy, or something else. If they say 'gaustault', I don't think twice before turning around and leaving. If they ask me why I'm asking the question, I turn around and leave. If they say they only use those as approaches, using any approach that is appropriate in any given situation, then that might well be a good therapist.

I'm not sure what you've done so far in terms of research, but I'm sure there must be good therapists out there, even interns at school can turn out to be surprisingly good. It sounds like you've already done some looking around, it might just be a matter of looking a bit more, and shooting the right questions at the right peopple. I'm sure there are other guys on here that could give you better directions on this then I can.

On my end of world, the BC Society for Male Survivors is a great resource. The psycologists there have a know of many great resources, and they are willing to use different kinds of therapy. My therapist there is quite open to different approaches, but he usually waits for me to approach him about them, and to innitiate that process myself.

I think it can be difficult to find good help...some of us are luckier than others in this process. I hope you can find what you're looking for sooner than later.

Hang in their, and I hope this helped.

#343790 - 10/31/10 08:40 PM Re: My counselor laughed at me [Re: BigV]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
That sucks DarkHadou. I recomend you ask for someone different and that she not be assigned to you if they do rotations.
That is just way too unprofessional her superiors need to know this.

Here is a post I made about Attachment Disorder

I hope you can listen to the show its quite moving. The part about how the mother found help and the solution they found is very intersting to me. It sounds like something I needed a lot when I was young. Probably wouldn't hurt me now either.
I'm not sure if anyone does this with adults but at 26 you may be young enough to get someone to listen and maybe try for you.

Edited by kidneythis (10/31/10 08:45 PM)
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#343823 - 11/01/10 09:05 AM Re: My counselor laughed at me [Re: kidneythis]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
I think it's unfortunate that they assigned such a rookie to you. Unfortunately, all therapists start out as rookies but hopefully, they are a bit more mature and not stuck into learned behaviors ("How did you feel about that?")

Experience brings more understanding and abilities to most therapists, though some don't grow or have the intellectual capacity to be really helpful.

I'd have a frank talk with her about what is not helpful. If you can get her supervisor into the session to explain your concerns, you'll probably have a better experience. Just asking for a change could result in no change (like maybe you need to work through some transference issues or something like that).

Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

#343901 - 11/02/10 12:40 AM Re: My counselor laughed at me [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
The most highly touted T I've been to yawned at me half way through my story. It hurt a lot but I kept going. He had written a book about children and he had been on national talk shows. I didn't like him too well.


pufferfish whistle

#343948 - 11/02/10 01:58 PM Re: My counselor laughed at me [Re: pufferfish]
Gamgee Offline

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 25
Loc: Canada
Shortly after I started seeing my psychiatrist for depression (in Canada, if you see a psychiatrist instead of another therapist, it's paid for by Medicare because they are physicians)I asked him what he thought my diagnosis was and he said he doesn't like to use diagnoses because they are so limiting and helping people be healthy and happy is more important than what you call their problem. I figured I had the right guy. A few years later, when I started to remember being sexually abused, I asked him if he had suspected and why he didn't say so. He said he did suspect, but knew I had to uncover it when I was ready. He's a great guy and has helped me get to the point that I can decide what I want and go for it. He does point out when I'm being unrealistic, but never laughed at me (except when I try out some of my stand-up routine on him!).


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