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#343051 - 10/25/10 06:43 PM Re: I may get flamed, but this needs to be said.... [Re: AngryA$$hole]
AngryA$$hole Offline

Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 7
I'm thinking I could've auctioned my spot on Ebay. Damn, I could've made some money.

Are you guys serious? Is this that important to you? It's a talk show, and in the end, your healing is paramount. Oprah is not going to get you there. YOU have to get yourself there.

#343076 - 10/25/10 11:32 PM Re: I may get flamed, but this needs to be said.... [Re: AngryA$$hole]
Anomalous Offline

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2132
Hi Angry,

I think you have misinterpreted my words.

I never said I wanted to be on the Oprah show. I never responded to their requests for participants.

However, since Oprah has taken the initiative to do a show on male sexual abuse, I have been contemplating contacting the producers of that show to raise other issues.

I don't expect anyone to do the work of healing for me, nor have I intimated as much.

My desire is to bring more issues to light, and if it takes someone like Oprah, who can command a large viewing audience to bring those issues before the public, then I am not beyond utilizing such a resource.


Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#343106 - 10/26/10 03:44 AM Re: I may get flamed, but this needs to be said.... [Re: Anomalous]
tartugas Offline

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Hi Anomalous,

First, allow me to say that I hear you. And I want to tell you that I think that there is no difference in the pain that you and I struggle with regardless of the fact that I was abused as a child, and you an adult.

There is no hierarchy of abuse. Those of us who have had our trust violated in any way bear scars that are instantly recognizable to one anther. I would like to think that if my being on the Oprah show brings light on the topic of male victims of abuse, that both of us can benefit from that.

I hope that you will not (and, indeed, it seems like you are not) allowing your disappointment or frustration to turn into rancor and bitterness. Please know that in standing up for survivors, I truly feel that I represented you, Obi, and all of those who were not in that studio, but deserved to be. If any of us want to be heard, or feel frustrated or slighted over any injustice, I hope that we can turn that anger into positive action. And that means more than contacting producers who, in my opinion went above and beyond to treat all survivors with respect. It means using this show, this time, this moment to speak up just a little louder and maybe ask for help or for more resources in their community. The people to bring your frustrations to are not in Oprah's office, they are in your communities. And many of them are willing to listen.


"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#343215 - 10/27/10 03:24 AM Re: I may get flamed, but this needs to be said.... [Re: justmejoey]
jls Offline

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
You're absolutely right that sexual assaults can occur against adult males. Think a few years back to those horrible photos of male Iraqi prisoners being abused in Abu Graib. I've even seen it occur at the homeless shelter where I work, where predatory clients have taken sexual advantage of vulnerable mentally ill people who stay there. Even though both are adults I call it sexual abuse since one person can consent and the other cannot because of their compromised mental state. Anyways I say all this because as survivors we should be in solidarity with each other in order to advocate for an end to sexual violence toward anyone, regardless of a person's age. JS

Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

#431787 - 04/19/13 09:58 PM Re: I may get flamed, but this needs to be said.... [Re: Anomalous]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:01 AM)

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