Donnie you do matter and I am sorry you got triggered in chat yesterday when I was there. Sometimes because of the nature of what we are going through, this happens. Learning to understand the trigger and processing it is what helps us heal.
Anger is a difficult issue for me too. I am oscillating between extreme fear and rage at the minute in regard to my main abuser. Gonna have to talk to my T about it.
Personally, I like the way you are posting and processing things in the gay section. I wish I could be so open as you are Avery. I see you doing so much to get this stuff out and to process it and heal. I admire this. I feel safest in the gay section, if that makes sense.
However, maybe you would get more responses in the general section, I don't know. Our straight brothers have a lot of good things to share with us too, and may not see your posts in here.
Also, don't think you are being ignored. I know for me when I read posts, and as much as I feel for what someone is going through I feel I don't always have the right words to express.
You are not too far gone to be helped. If anything I see that you are doing the hard work in trying to make sense of your experience and that is admirable.
Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.