Newest Members
UniversalBeing, Squirmish20, Cunobelin, Dean-GMoT, hunterprince
13497 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Abir (44), Avyi (52), cross29min (62), Dartel (53), ernie (73), jggab (45), kev (69)
Who's Online
1 registered (Older1), 42 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,497 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,039 Topics
488,954 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#341890 - 10/11/10 07:40 PM about the lounge
traillius Offline

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 261
This is confusing to me. Sometimes the lounge ends up being a healing circle, without actually becoming the healing circle ( check in, etc...) If this has become the purpose for the lounge, can chat be made so that we can choose to go other rooms right away, or something. Its hard, both from confusing and intensity perspectives to walk into a story unanticipatingly. I don't mind that its talked about, I just wish we could know this. It was my understanding that the lounge was for general chit chat, and off topic or general discussions. If I 'don't get it' please let me know. I am not trying to control or prevent discussions, merely to have some place ( was the lounge ) where I can just 'hang' with my fellow survivors, and keep it light and real, if I don't want to indulge intense or triggering conversations and topics. This isn't an attack on, or a reference to, any specific situation or person. Its a general concern, shared I think by many. Especially for newbies, or those not doing so well at any given time, 'walking' right into what amounts to a healing circle, with no prior knowledge or willingness, can be, at the least, confusing.

#341941 - 10/12/10 03:48 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: traillius]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270

The lounge is not to be used in the manner described. If this has been happening it has not been with the knowledge or permission of the mod/admin team. If you notice this again in the future please PM myself or Former Texan (HC moderator) with the details. Include specifically the date, time of day when it occurred, as well asyour time zone, and we'll look into it. Thanks.


Let me clarify. Discussions of a light hearted nature as well as deep survivor discussions are permitted in the lounge. What is not allowed are organized group discussions such as the RT or HC.

We would encourage chat users who wish to get into the deeper discussions during times of high participation in the lounge to take the discussion to a privat chat or room so as to allow for the lounge to remain on more general and light topics more conducive to the continued comings and goings of participants.

Edited by WalkingSouth (10/12/10 04:09 PM)
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#342005 - 10/13/10 04:03 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: WalkingSouth]
traillius Offline

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 261
I think I might be spending less time in the lounge, during periods of deep discussion or times of high participation.

#342014 - 10/13/10 05:24 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: traillius]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3554
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
I'd also like to add that for guys wanting to go deeper into recovery discussions we have set up a permanent room called "Survivor Support" - it's a great place to talk the deeper talks of recovery

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#342027 - 10/13/10 07:54 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: TJ jeff]
Castle Offline

Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
Hmmmm...I wasnt going to add to this..but I think I will.

I was in the lounge when the incident that started this thread happened.

While most know what the purpose of the lounge is....I can't help but add that the way this and some situations happen was and is very organic.

There wasnt an organized HC or RT or the likes...but if a conversation starts and has an effect on a survivor...and they need a few minutes to get it out...while others are supportive and engouraging said person...would you consider that a HC?....cause if so Ive been to a lot of healing circles that I didn't know about.

I also know from first hand experience that the times I needed to get something out...has really helped me in my reovery.

I wonder...havent we had enough people have us hold stuff in...If we build relationships over time...that allows people to feel comfortable enough to they have never been able we want to cut those people off?...and say...hey thats great but lets goto survivor support....right in the middle of what they are discussing....or rather give them 5 minutes of our undivided attention...and help them progress through recovery.

I just think its much different than a moderated HC/RT and the likes. If I cant give a brother 5 minutes to get it off their chests and be supportive...I dont belong in chat..and dont want to be there.


#342130 - 10/14/10 08:01 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: Castle]
traillius Offline

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 261
I guess I can always put someone on ignore, temporarily, if they get that way too much...

#342397 - 10/18/10 05:00 PM Re: about the lounge [Re: traillius]
traillius Offline

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 261
since I don't wish to indulge hypocrisy, I have softened my stance considerably.


I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.